lostidentity

Last Friday, I went to go see Last Days. Finally, it has came to the area. I LOVED IT!!! Most of the movie really dragged. But what the most golden moment was when Blake was playing the acoustic guitar in a scene towards the end of the movie. I swear to you, it looked EXACTLY like Kurt. Godamm, I miss that guy so much. If you don't like nirvana or just like them, don't see this movie because you will hate every minute of it. There's really no plot and hardly any dialogue. You know, its probably very rude to try and dissect someone. The thing is, everyone has a different opinion and relates differently to stuff. Nirvana was my daily food. It was always there for me to turn on and listen to.

I have been invited to a barbecue this saturday. I told them I won't be there but I keep getting pressured to go. The reason I tell them I can't make it is that I have to go to delaware. The real reason I don't want to go is I'm not really friends with any of them except a couple of people. I actually have a lot of jealous bitterness to a lot of those people who will be there. I'm tired of being around people who have worked there for a less amount of time and have advanced. I'm also not in a 'I want to meet strangers' type mood. I guess theres a security in this apartment of mine. Who wants to get burned anyway?

So I have put a profile back on yahoo personals again. I was looking through the profiles and saw this really cute chick and was instantaneously curious. So I emailed her and I havn't heard back. I will just wait though to see.

Right now, I'm very lost, just going through the motions. Like this journal entry. I'm not in the mood to share my feelings with anyone now, but I'm just doing this out of habit it seems like. I feel a lot of confusion and hatred right about now. I just can't find anything to love it seems.