Whenever I start to get too attatched, I get my hopes up and end up losing and start all over again. Not this time. I havn't let myself get too attatched, but I want to. And I'm starting to feel ignored, like I have been for the past seven years, so what makes this one different? I know you're going through what I'm going through so I want to see you be successful. I'm not pressuring you, but I really hope to see you come out of the tunnel soon because I can see myself falling deeper in it. All of you are watching me go but do you know what you are letting slip by? And now that I've become more selective, its gotten harder on me.
I feel privelaged though to be crazy because I don't see myself as crazy, I see myself as having stepped out of the box, something you strive to do but can't because you are scared of what others will think. Don't worry, one day you will also step out of the box, but you won't be prepared for what you see. But I am special because I don't want to see you fail. I want to see you succeed because I know what you will be seeing when you do succeed. But I too have my limits. The pressure, anxiety, uncertainty, and loneliness have become deep burdens on my psychological well-being. I am not well right now, but its in my nature to be well. My own curiosity is what has kept me going and my curiosity is becoming bored. It needs some new things to crave about. New. So I find out about you. I know what will happen if I become to close, but it seems as though you found out that I want to get close, and now its not a good feeling anymore. I've burnt myself without even coming close to the fire. All that I have to give you now you will not see and I will not be able to see me give it. I have failed once again. Everytime I get scared, I give up.
I suppose, I could say something, but thats not how I want it to work. I don't say things, I act them out. Its why I don't have anyone. People always want to hear the right thing, but don't know how to act when they see it. Again, I havn't become too close or attatched, so you must believe me when I say I want to see you succeed, because I can't show it to you right now. I don't feel like giving up on myself right now because I know what I'm made of, but I don't know where I'm headed and its making me insane.
So now you are ignoring me. But you're not doing it because of how you feel, you're doing it because you don't want to see me get hurt. But believe me, I don't feel strong yet. The thing about you that I'm addicted to right now is hearing your voice. Its soft, real, and soothing. And now that I havn't heard it for days, I'm beggining to realize that maybe I did get to close. And I lost. I lost you without even having the chance of getting you. I thought of telling you that you are beautiful but I wasn't sure how you'd react. I thought of showing you how beautiful you are, but thats a chance that must be earned and I havn't earned it yet. I hope someday you will see me. I hope you don't see me wounded. Bandaged up is ok, but not wounded. I don't have any secrets. I come as I am. Do good things really happen to good people?
I feel privelaged though to be crazy because I don't see myself as crazy, I see myself as having stepped out of the box, something you strive to do but can't because you are scared of what others will think. Don't worry, one day you will also step out of the box, but you won't be prepared for what you see. But I am special because I don't want to see you fail. I want to see you succeed because I know what you will be seeing when you do succeed. But I too have my limits. The pressure, anxiety, uncertainty, and loneliness have become deep burdens on my psychological well-being. I am not well right now, but its in my nature to be well. My own curiosity is what has kept me going and my curiosity is becoming bored. It needs some new things to crave about. New. So I find out about you. I know what will happen if I become to close, but it seems as though you found out that I want to get close, and now its not a good feeling anymore. I've burnt myself without even coming close to the fire. All that I have to give you now you will not see and I will not be able to see me give it. I have failed once again. Everytime I get scared, I give up.
I suppose, I could say something, but thats not how I want it to work. I don't say things, I act them out. Its why I don't have anyone. People always want to hear the right thing, but don't know how to act when they see it. Again, I havn't become too close or attatched, so you must believe me when I say I want to see you succeed, because I can't show it to you right now. I don't feel like giving up on myself right now because I know what I'm made of, but I don't know where I'm headed and its making me insane.
So now you are ignoring me. But you're not doing it because of how you feel, you're doing it because you don't want to see me get hurt. But believe me, I don't feel strong yet. The thing about you that I'm addicted to right now is hearing your voice. Its soft, real, and soothing. And now that I havn't heard it for days, I'm beggining to realize that maybe I did get to close. And I lost. I lost you without even having the chance of getting you. I thought of telling you that you are beautiful but I wasn't sure how you'd react. I thought of showing you how beautiful you are, but thats a chance that must be earned and I havn't earned it yet. I hope someday you will see me. I hope you don't see me wounded. Bandaged up is ok, but not wounded. I don't have any secrets. I come as I am. Do good things really happen to good people?