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lostidentity

Kansas

Member Since 2004

Followers 10 Following 13

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Monday May 16, 2005

May 16, 2005
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ummmmmmmmm............so much to say, but I prefer to talk to myself...sorry peeps, I just wish that once in a while I could make an entry only for me to read..no secrets for you today.

so I will attempt to make an entry coded in words only I will be able to decipher. So I hear the weather outside I is beautiful. We've been trying to get some raindrops here and they want just don't seem to be coming. But since I'm a bit weird to I will just make a like a tree and stay. I had so much time to do my laundry yesterday and instead I slept. So now to I have to go and do laundry frown So this chick from work who I"m die not interested in romantically or for friendship now, never called me and I was not offended at all, but I was trying to think of ways to politely tell her that I never want to talk to her ever again. You know, its because of people like her, people who just consider me an insignificant weirdo, that I want to stay home all the time. I surround myself by myself in these surroundings so that I don't get hurt. And its like, everytime I step out of the boundary knowing that I will get hurt, I do. Why? I just wish that I had a group of four friends here. Thats all I need, four, four to go out and do something, and when one of them is busy, I could go out with the other three. I also need a woman badly...there..I've admitted it. I'm so longing to hold someone in my arms. Yet I don't feel one bit desperate. not one bit. I stopped taking the pills and it hasn't affected me. I'm so sick of the gossipy people at work. If it wasn't for this award I got friday, I probably would have asked to be transfered or just quit. Now I have new motivation to work. I still am experiencing the "I'd be better off dead" emotions but I just have to let someone else know that I will be one hell of a husband and a father. I havn't let anyone know that yet so I can't die, and it will take a while before it happens so if I do die, it wont be for at least another few more minutes. I just want a relationship and let it go with the flow. When will I get my chance its been over a year now? If you've read this all the way, then I hope that some day I will befriend you and be a very significant part of your life, you deserve it.
thefreak:
The eagle has left the nest.

The dingo has gotten the baby.

The soldier is standing at attention.

*wink wink nudge nudge*

-TM
May 16, 2005

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