lostidentity

So I went to target to get some soda cause I have a credit card there and I"ll be broke till wednsday, spent a grand total of 11.91! Then I went to best buy and spent 91 on cd's. Blank cd's, lacuna coil, hatebreed, soilwork, deftones, and sarah mclaughlin. I'm getting ready to make some pork chops and stove top. and I"m looking forward to a lot of updating my journal with quotes and ideas for all (me) to read. Actually, this weekend would be a great weekend to go visit south street, but I'm broke. I'm finally ready to go out now. I didn't want to go anywhere after what happened this summer. I was tired of people, now I'm a little bit more tolerant. I figure the best way to stay alive is via music. I'm hanging on by a thread at my job. Apparently I have a socializing issue. This caused me a verbal warning, the second one, and the next one I'm out the door. Makes me paranoid, but also keeps me focused. However, the degredation is becoming worse. Today was birthday day, I didn't bring anything and therefore did not participate. But I was in charge of cleaning off the table! good for me. So now, I"m vaccuming, cleaning up after people, opening tons of mail, and all sorts of mundane stuff. So while everyone else is at halloween parties, I will be home listening to music, masterbating to music, and sleeping with music. damn. no wonder I've gained so much weight. I have to get started on that though cause I"m going to greece soon and everyone and their pet dog will be ridiculing me for what I've become. I wouldn't care if it weren't for the fact that this is my family I'm talking about. I love the fact that on the bottom of my screen are my favorite girls. I look at their eyes and become inspired to do whatever it is I want to. Thank you SG for letting me get a chance to be around and talk to people I can relate to.