lostidentity

For the record: I did go to AC last sunday and came back $200 richer. I was surprisingly unaffected. I always go to AC to relieve headaches but this one wasn't going away. Fortunately, I have a very cool co-worker who calmed me down and I was able to focus again, until this past Friday when another issue came up........sheesh, I really want to get out of this job now. How fucked up am I? Very....for years now I've been complaining about a promotion, and now that the fire is on me, I want out. Sorry folks, I'm just too much of a wuss to fight it out. Ok, seriously, I am a big pussy, but the reason I don't want to put the effort in is because its just not the path I want to follow the rest of my life. Put in the expected effort, and just get by....but that increases the risk of getting fired. I need to make some real business contacts within the next few years if I am to be successful at something 'internation business' related.

As far as the moving thing is concerned, I fear that it won't be as easy as quitting, moving and getting a $9/hr job at target or some place until I find a decent paying job. But, man, I so want to move....I've been heavily leaning towards Arizona......the only thing that deters me is (and I know this will sound stupid) but the one thing I fear the most are rattlesnakes..........

Oh well, I'm going back to the casino and gamble money on my credit card that I can't really afford because I have a gambling problem that I don't want to face right now....good luck to me!