On 13 Dec 2006 my mom died. Everybody says that you're supposed to move on, or tells me that I'm strong. But everyday I think about her. Sometimes it's about how bad of a daughter I was to her before she died, or how much I wish she was here, or wondering what she would say to me if I could talk to her again, or sometimes it's just being completely heartbroken. People make those "your mom" jokes and it just gives me such a sharp pain in my heart. My every thought is consumed with her. I've always told myself to live with no regrets, but when it comes to my mom, most of what I feel is regret. How do I live with this? Yes, I know that she always knew I loved her , but that doesn't make up for treating her like shit...even when I knew she was sick. That moment I was sitting next to her., and she was mumbling something which would be her last words, I couldn't even understand her so my sister told me that she was saying "I love you". She had been waiting for me. A few hours later she died. I was not and am not worth her waiting. I couldn't even say anything, I couldn't even say anything. How horrible of a daughter am I? I deserve nothing but horrible things for the rest of my life.
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sharla:
Aww im very moved by this blog. My mum died nearly 4 years ago, i feel lots of guilt. She was sick for quite a few years and i always look back and think i wish i had done this and this. We were told when she was likely 2 die in the next couple of days and that i should say goodbye 2 her, but i just couldnt do it. I told myself she prob wouldnt know anyway, as she had a brain tumor and didnt know how i was sometimes and stuff. But i do really regret it and wonder if she did realise. As bad as u feel try not 2 feel like ur alone, they r people out there who have gone throu similar things. Im so sorry for ur loss 
lorybeth:
Thank you all. I wish I knew all of you IRL so we could meet up for coffee or drinks 