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lori_

RIO RANCHO

Member Since 2005

Followers 47 Following 36

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Tuesday Nov 15, 2005

Nov 15, 2005
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Now that my mini crisis is over I can write a real post.
I'm having one of those moments in life where i don't know anything about anything.
My husband and I had been distancing somewhat in the last couple of years, Well all last year he was in Iraq and he's been back for six months, but i've going out with out him more than with him. Going out more in general... Having less and less time for him....we've gone days with out talking more than a couple words.

Well during our last "talk" he told me that I think my marriage is an inconvenience, that I feel like i missed out on something because of the choices i made so early in life.

I told him he was full of it. Now....i'm starting to think maybe he's not full of it. Maybe he's right, so what does that say about me?

So..i'm at this point where i'm 24 and and going on my 6th aniversary...and don't get me wrong, i don't regret my decisions i love my daughter and my husband too, but i do feel like maybe i missed out on alot of things. I thought that because i grew up so early and so hard that i'd already done everything, i have in alot of ways...but not the right way I guess.

So where i am now...is that I like my independence and i like haveing some of my own things, my own life, my own ...secrets? When my husband was gone i missed him terribly but i liked being on my own again. It's like i feel like i'm the same person I always was...i just hadn't seen that person in awhile, does that make sense?

I don't want to go back to the way things were because i didn't realize that I wasn't really happy until I got a different perspective. I can't ever be someone i'm not ever ever again. I like who I am, I forgot how much i rock wink

It's not what it sounds like, my daughter is the best thing in the world, and my husband is a good guy....i don't want to giv up my family i just don't know how to integrate the real me with the family me....i have to find a way to do that withut hurting anyone, well this post is getting kind of long so i'll wrap it up, elaborate more on another post.
Have a good week all smile
liante:
Married at 18? It's not surprising that you should feel this way. I think that's pretty normal among people who marry at a young age (and quite a few who aren't so young).

Why do you feel that there's a difference between the "family you" and the "real you"? Perhaps that'll show what kind of independence you need, or where you might be feeling a little trammeled in.

I'd also suggest discussing this with your husband, especially since he already seems to suspect that something's up and might be reassured to know that you don't want to leave. Honesty and open communication are the best, and really the only, way to work through any potential problems.
Nov 15, 2005
lori_:
just to clear up a misunderstanding, it's not really that anyone expects me not to be myself, it's just that we were young when we got into this relationship so our understanding of it all was a little skewed. We comprimised a little more than we should have in the beginning and gave up too much and I lost sight of who I was for awhile. And we do talk about everything...i mean everything so it's not like jason doesn't know how i feel...ever.
Nov 15, 2005

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