lorensoth

I feel like im slipping...

Ive realize that I have no one to talk to anymore, that all my old friends are gone, and that I am always alone.

I cannot say I am a smart person, but I think about alot of things happening in the world what seems like all the time. I don't really know how much longer I can pretend Im happy working five days a week for only 288 each week, and I still dont see how people thing this is living.

I wake up each morning wishing I could do something else, wishing I could be somewhere else. But I am stuck here, with no way to get out anytime soon. I didnt go to college, and therefor I am an "uneducated" persson, but I often wonder why these "educated" people are so easily content with trying to simply have a career and spend most of there live doing that only.

Working for a company is not living

I want to feel like Im living my life, not that its being controled by some busniess. I want to be able to look at the clouds, listen to the wind, water and birds. I want to feel like I am part of this world, and not something seperate from it.

I turn 27 this Saturday, and I am very tempted to leave everything I know behind. To simply get in my car and see where the road takes me. To see the world we live in while I can, and not be chained to corporate America.

But I am a coward

For 27 years I have been traped on this island, afraid to go out on my own. I only want a small quiet place that I can call my own. And I want to talk to people, not about the mindless crap our media fills our heads with. I want to talk about what life is to people, what humanity is to people, what earth means to people.

I am all to aware that one thing is sure in life, and that is death. Why spend a life working our days away, missing the small moments that live gives us. I want my life to mean more then that somehow, and trying to start down that road, will be very hard, and very lonely...