lorensoth

Its strange how as soon as you want to do more, time seems to go by faster.

I am in a bind of sorts, firstly I have no clue what Id like to do if I went back to school.
Though I find Graphic Design and drawing are a nice hobby of sorts, it dosent feel like something that means enough to me.

I always think about bigger things, why human beings are the way we are right now is at the top of my list. Though I am not a "people person" I cant help but have an interest in the human species, because we are the most complicated creatures to deal with on this planet.

I often find myself wondering why I type this, because I am human of course. What are my motives, what do I want, what am I trying to acheive. The same questions go through my thoughts for most people I talk to or interact with, because of course we are then humans interacting for certain reasons.

I know for me, the reasons are absurd... I want to be happy...

And for some reason I believe I would be happy if I had someone who I could make happy everyday.
One of the most baffaling things about humans are the feeling that they need some sort of companion with them so they will be happy. Breaking it down its simply our need to mate and reproduce (or thankfully not to reproduce because we have that option).

Even if we dont realize it our lives are very short compared to that of the world we live on. It has seen so much, that its hard to imagine how short mankind has been on it.

Ah how I do ramble when I start to think and type...
I need to find a place that will help me understand more about the human species. But I dont even know who to ask, and how could I afford to go do any schooling when I have no money?

I want to help humanity become something more then what we are now. We have been consumers for to long... we no longer live, we simply exist. Our lives are based in a simple pattern Newborn - Toddler - Child -Teenager - Young Adult - Adult - Middle Age - Elder - Death. And we all go through all this being educated by a system that tells us all we need to do is "be smart" and "get a good job" when going to a job dosent make you feel alive!!

Trying to understand things makes me feel alive... and I want to understand out species as much as I can, every day...