lorensoth

Well Ive been drinking, and I do enjoy it. Though I know it changes nothing of my current state, nor my current income. But at the moment it really dosent matter at all. Today I wish I could discover something no one else has ever found before, simply because it is Columbus day so to speak. Part of me feels so hopelessly lost about my so called futre, and the other part dosent even care, and could end my days playing some foolish game. Sad and alone as I currently am. I will forever wish I knew what to do with my pathetic life, but Im sure I never will, and Im sure by the time my life finally ends (Not far in the future by my drinking habits) I ever will. I will be nothing amazing, I will not go down in history, and in the end I will be nothing but a blip in the scrolls of life. But in truth it dosent reallly matter, in fact life in general dosent really matter in the end. There is only the dark blackness that comes before our dreams in the finaly moments of sleep. And sometimes I wonder why the dreamless sleep dosent take me away from the fruitless worries of life. It only seems that some part of life has some small hope left for me........