Well I made reservations to go to SF. I will be there Wed at noon. 
I am borrowing the denaro from the neighbour lady. I did a bunch of landscaping and the like for hew so it kind of payment. We went out to her farm the other night and I did get to see 2 rattlers. Even from within the truck they instill fear.
My dogs are barking at me they want to play, and that makes me want to cry. I love them so much, they kept me going at my lowest points. I am very worried about finding a place that allows dogs. I keep telling myself that I will do what I can and that will be enough, but the pit in my stomach keeps gnawing at me.
One of my interviews is with an architect at the SF Museum of Modern Art, SFMOMA. She is doing an installation there. That is the job I really want, depending on its viability.
I will be glad to get out of Texas. Even here in Austin which is liberal by Texas standards, its still quite conservative. SF should be much more to my liking. Being Canadian and spending my Jr high-school days in Vancouver, I am very out of place in this conservative stronghold.
Who knows what will happen with my relationship with my mother. I wish I could do something for her, but she has to do something for her self. I will feel terrible if she flounders but there is nothing I can do. I have tried to get her to pursue some kind of help, which she has refused. Maybe she needs to fall flat on her face, and learn from it. God knows I have in both counts. The question is at 61 can she learn anything and survive. ??
Is moving a chance to jettison the unwanted parts of yourself, to become something more than you are, something more like you want to be?
Wherever you go you take your problems with you, like an phantom appendage that you can see, and fear others will also see. Maybe I have learnt enough that the appendage has shrunk to the size of a wart.
When have you been excited and terrified at the same time?
I am borrowing the denaro from the neighbour lady. I did a bunch of landscaping and the like for hew so it kind of payment. We went out to her farm the other night and I did get to see 2 rattlers. Even from within the truck they instill fear.
My dogs are barking at me they want to play, and that makes me want to cry. I love them so much, they kept me going at my lowest points. I am very worried about finding a place that allows dogs. I keep telling myself that I will do what I can and that will be enough, but the pit in my stomach keeps gnawing at me.
One of my interviews is with an architect at the SF Museum of Modern Art, SFMOMA. She is doing an installation there. That is the job I really want, depending on its viability.
I will be glad to get out of Texas. Even here in Austin which is liberal by Texas standards, its still quite conservative. SF should be much more to my liking. Being Canadian and spending my Jr high-school days in Vancouver, I am very out of place in this conservative stronghold.
Who knows what will happen with my relationship with my mother. I wish I could do something for her, but she has to do something for her self. I will feel terrible if she flounders but there is nothing I can do. I have tried to get her to pursue some kind of help, which she has refused. Maybe she needs to fall flat on her face, and learn from it. God knows I have in both counts. The question is at 61 can she learn anything and survive. ??
Is moving a chance to jettison the unwanted parts of yourself, to become something more than you are, something more like you want to be?
Wherever you go you take your problems with you, like an phantom appendage that you can see, and fear others will also see. Maybe I have learnt enough that the appendage has shrunk to the size of a wart.
When have you been excited and terrified at the same time?
**shaking pom-poms for you**
I've moved 4 or 5 times in the past 2 years. Whenever I get somewhere new, after a while I'm all pissed off about one thing or another, then I have to leave because I'm miserable.
I guess it's something inside I need to fix