Title: Cursed to be Emotional.
The last few days have been rather dull and depressing, with sporatic patches of apathy. It's like i've given up altogether on amibition.
The videogame scheme? Just a quick buck. I'll still try it though.
But I have given up on a job search. The way I see it, I should have received something by now. Something good. Anything other than a mop and bucket.
So what am I complaining about? My bills are being paid. I don't have much money, but I have enough to live off of on my own. My student loans are being paid every month. I even have a little left over for myself. I also have a place with a good friend. All I need is furniture.
I essense, I have all I need to survive. Why am I striving for more when I have all I need and i'm not going to get what I want anyways?
Might as well dig in. It's going to be a long career as a mopslinger. At least i'm doing fine for myself.
I will keep up with the writing though. I enjoy writing. I hope to publish something someday. But I do have one worry. If I was drummed out by the real world and destined not to have a real career, then what makes me think i'm going to be able to publish something? What makes me think i'm ready for the rejection, which I have not taken well in my job search, that is bound to happen when submitting stories to publishers?
I'll think of a way. I can only be denied for so long before I break and finally force feed my will down their gullets. After all, did not the writer for the play 'Cleansed' (recently played in Calgary) go through an emotional hell to create some of the most vivid and disturbing, yet well crafted pieces of writing? She even killed herself , but to be able to pump that much emotion in her work... is it not worth the price?
But for now, I'll just take to my mundane life, and wait.
The last few days have been rather dull and depressing, with sporatic patches of apathy. It's like i've given up altogether on amibition.
The videogame scheme? Just a quick buck. I'll still try it though.
But I have given up on a job search. The way I see it, I should have received something by now. Something good. Anything other than a mop and bucket.
So what am I complaining about? My bills are being paid. I don't have much money, but I have enough to live off of on my own. My student loans are being paid every month. I even have a little left over for myself. I also have a place with a good friend. All I need is furniture.
I essense, I have all I need to survive. Why am I striving for more when I have all I need and i'm not going to get what I want anyways?
Might as well dig in. It's going to be a long career as a mopslinger. At least i'm doing fine for myself.
I will keep up with the writing though. I enjoy writing. I hope to publish something someday. But I do have one worry. If I was drummed out by the real world and destined not to have a real career, then what makes me think i'm going to be able to publish something? What makes me think i'm ready for the rejection, which I have not taken well in my job search, that is bound to happen when submitting stories to publishers?
I'll think of a way. I can only be denied for so long before I break and finally force feed my will down their gullets. After all, did not the writer for the play 'Cleansed' (recently played in Calgary) go through an emotional hell to create some of the most vivid and disturbing, yet well crafted pieces of writing? She even killed herself , but to be able to pump that much emotion in her work... is it not worth the price?
But for now, I'll just take to my mundane life, and wait.