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lord_shade

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 5 Following 5

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Friday Feb 06, 2004

Feb 5, 2004
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Man, this week has a theme. I think i'll call it 'my head is screwed up'.

Grooverider made an excellent point. What kind of Christian am I? Not a good one, more of a worldly one. That's a term used by Christians to describe a person whom is not shaped by his or her religious beliefs, but more on the influences his or her world brings upon said person. That would be me.

I haven't been to church since the end of December. First, there was a bad cold. Then, I slept in. Next, I had to go to the Games Workshop auction (and picked up a bunch of barbarians for my Lost and Damned army).

I notice that co-relation. Lack of church attendance = more bad behavior and foul language.

And trust me, when i'm in a bad mood, I swear enough to make a sailor blush.

I will try to be better. I will try to be a better Christian. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I don't want to give my religion a bad name. And I do want to be good. It is difficult, but I will try. And I remember someone saying that it is not how you worship, but how you live your life based on those simple rules. Such as being kind to one another. Loving others as you would love a brother or sister. Aiding those because you want to give. (BTW, bonus points for the person whom told me this! Thanks!)

I need to get back into that. Do well to the world, and though the world may not reward you, others will appreciate the effort. Such as my friends.

So, I determined that I strayed from my path a little. It happens. To liberal compared to my Christian friends, too conservative for this place sometimes as well. I'm caught between worlds so to speak. My nerd and gothic influences, technical background, spiritual teachings, all war with each other.

But anyways, guess what else was screwed up this week? Appearantly I put too much effort into my work. I came home with my shoulders and legs sore, because I kept scrubbing my arse off at the mall tile that will not get clean. I found a simple but innovative way to use less effort and get it cleaner as well. I use my foot on top of the mop to get the extra pressure needed to clean, where just my feeble upper body strength wouldn't suffice. And still, I was sore as hell.

I can't wait to give my job the old heave ho!

Not only that, on my days off I find that I cannot go to sleep at night anymore. I can only sleep during the day. And that rest isn't as beneficial, due to sunlight. So I'm being driven up the walls by my fitful sleeps and constant insomnia. My roommate Raven gave me suggestions, but their help was only negligable.

Not only that, i'm over that infactuation with that girl from security. Kind of sad, but it was better to do away with since I had no opportunity to go any further.

With that, I will now collapse into bed and sleep. Good day you all. I hope all is well when I wake up.

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