Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

lord_shade

Canada

Member Since 2003

Followers 5 Following 5

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Dec 03, 2003

Dec 3, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
*I am seriously imaging the music in Resident Evil where they mention a diary entry. I believe it was Nemesis...*

Hello, and welcome back to my blog, those few who read it, that is. But no worries, it's only my second day.

I just woke up, after doing graveyard shift at the mall again (name withheld for privacy reasons). I don't like graveyard shift. I don't like that mall. They have cheap tiles they put in... white, unpolished, very rough surface. Problem is, they trap dirt, and never seem to come clean. Whoever thought of ordering those tiles deserves to be shot dead on sight, via Columbian hit squad armed with AK-47's.

Sad part is, after working janitorial for so long, you notice these things. I've work this job for waaaaay too long. It's a McJob, a dead end, a total crashing bore that saps the lively energy out of me. But I plod on anyways, because student loans are relentless, and the pay is good considering chimpanzees on rollerskates can do the same thing I do (so proven by a couple of our old men janitors at that mall).

But I digress (I use that phrase alot, bear with me). What is this 'Exile' I speak of? Poetic or just plain melodramatic? Either way, it's the word I've come up with for my current predicament.

In a nutshell, i'm a recent college graduate. I have my bachelor's degree, and i'm proud of that. Took alot of work to earn it, and i'm the first in my clan to do so. But I always thought I could put it to some use.

Alas, I was wrong. It's a business degree, yet no matter how many times I submitted my resume, no matter how many times I had an interview, I had nothing to show for it but a bad suit and disappointment.

Then I joined the Janitors at the mall. It was an act of desperation, because I needed cash to live. But when I worked there, I found that the hours I had to keep cramped my social life. I didn't get a single sunday off, so I couldn't visit my friends at church as often as I liked.

I started acting less Christian like. I was depressed. Going nowhere, I lost hope. Somewhere on this journey, I was struck off the path and now I don't know if I can go back on. I don't know what to do to kickstart my career search. My brain feels like it's going to atrophe with every push of the mop and every crude word that comes out of the old men's mouths.

So in essence, being in Exile in this world is to me being away from God, away from prosperity, away from anything that could engage my interests. Exile is sheer boredom, and depression.

My life is boring, and going nowhere, even though I had the confidence of my friends, my family and even my school.

And as a last ditch effort to reach out and call someone from Exile, I write to you this blog.

Be this a warning. Even the blessed can fall...
aya:
SG rocks like that. Tons of cool people to meet.

I'm now going to critique your critique on your life. It's going to suck, but I'm a Virgo and I'm darn good at point out flaws.

So you don't have your ideal job. Not yet. It takes awhile. Also, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about being a janitor. My mother had a masters degree in teaching before she moved to Canada and worked in factories, on assembly lines, and as a janitor.

Just keep your head up and ears open.
That, and interview skills are learned, not innate. Don't get bent up over it.

And there's a huge difference between being Christian and Christian-like. I'm far from Christian in faith, but I have a deep understanding of the faith and know that to be christian like, you simply must carry a general love and respect for human dignity. So long as you do, you can't fall far. Religion is different than faith - if you're communicating with God, missing mass shouldn't be an issue faith-wise (although it may be social-wise).

You'll be fine. Just look up - and out. There's always light at the end of the tunnel.

PS - Looking at nekkid pictures of me isn't an issue of decency to me. If it is to you, I'm not going to press it. I just wanted to let you know that this is my expression of my sexual self and I'm rather proud of it. And a part of being proud of that sexual aspect is sharing it with the world.
Dec 3, 2003

More Blogs

  • 06.28.04
    2

    Tuesday Jun 29, 2004

    No luck with the wallet yet. Not sure why it hasn't turned up yet. I …
  • 06.26.04
    5

    Saturday Jun 26, 2004

    You know what, i'm in such a sour mood that I don't even want to thin…
  • 06.09.04
    7

    Thursday Jun 10, 2004

    Title: Castle of Breadcrumbs You know, I was starting to get used …
  • 06.02.04
    0

    Wednesday Jun 02, 2004

    Title: Four Eyes Last week, I ordered new glasses. I took advanta…
  • 05.27.04
    1

    Thursday May 27, 2004

    Title: My name... is Shade! Hiyo! Welcome back, SG'ers! As you …
  • 05.14.04
    2

    Saturday May 15, 2004

    Title: Week in Heck I must admit, I am feeling a little let down b…
  • 05.10.04
    2

    Tuesday May 11, 2004

    Title: I can quit any time I want too... I'm a Final Fantasy addic…
  • 05.04.04
    2

    Wednesday May 05, 2004

    Title: Project Alpha Male Now that I finally have some money, I wi…
  • 05.04.04
    0

    Tuesday May 04, 2004

    Title: White Trash Rockefeller I'm in the money... i'm in the mone…
  • 04.25.04
    3

    Monday Apr 26, 2004

    Title: Observe! I had a fun time with the other SG members last Sa…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
7
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,690 followers
  • 14,920,095 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,391,142 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo