longlostsapper

Today is the big day in just a few short hours I will meet my little girl for the first time, im so nervous, my hands are shaking my stomach is doing flips my body is trembling, I'm reminded of the first time I handled explosives and know I was not as nervous then my first fire fight no time to be nervous my first...
Read More

So a friend of posted this on facebook and kind of hit me what with everything going on its long so spoilers it is read or not

Update

1) his meds are a nightmare all mixed up in unlabeled jars not pill bottles, those old sample jam jars

2) there is no food in the house, when I say no food I mean no food nothing

3) the oven/stove doesn't work

4) he doesn't know there's no food and the oven/stove doesn't work

5) I have to tell him things 7 or...
Read More

Well everyone its been a fun ride don't know when I'll get back all is breaking lose




Okay if you didn't read my last blog there is some bad shit going on with my family I leave for Ohio tonight

Don't know how long but its not looking short term

I love you guys and will miss you all

Got some pretty depressing news tonight, my father's dementia is really bad he needs someone with him all the time, no one there can do it and they dont want to put him in a home or commit him so I may have to go back home I don't want to do and really I dont know if I can its a lot and I'm...
Read More

My father didn't talk about, my uncles didn't talk about it my teachers didn't talk about it my friends fathers didn't talk about it, now I don't like talking about it

My heart is always heavy this time of year so many emotions most are bad and the painful if I disappear for a bit I'm sorry but it's not like the first time right, so anyway just so you guys know thanks for sticking around and giving support love you all

I smelled something ded under the house went to check, thought about it and decided I don't want to crawl under the house so i took a yard stick and tied a web cam and flash light to the end using my phone to pick up the cams signal I see a dead thing under there no biggie right move the cam a little more...
Read More

Been really depressed and sick, fucking migraines on top of that, sorry I haven't been around, when I don't feel like a complete waste of life I'll be back

Ever wish you could do this to someone? [VIDEO][/VIDEO]