longlostsapper

My heart is always heavy this time of year so many emotions most are bad and the painful if I disappear for a bit I'm sorry but it's not like the first time right, so anyway just so you guys know thanks for sticking around and giving support love you all

I smelled something ded under the house went to check, thought about it and decided I don't want to crawl under the house so i took a yard stick and tied a web cam and flash light to the end using my phone to pick up the cams signal I see a dead thing under there no biggie right move the cam a little more...
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Been really depressed and sick, fucking migraines on top of that, sorry I haven't been around, when I don't feel like a complete waste of life I'll be back

Ever wish you could do this to someone? [VIDEO][/VIDEO]

Feeling nostalgic today after talking with some of my brother's

The Engineer Song

Chorus: We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers. We can, we can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers. Drink up, drink up, drink up, drink up and come along with us Cause we dont give a damn about any old man who dont give a damn...
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I really need to learn to stop bottling everything up inside me, stop letting my ex wife effect me so much, yes I know I'm stupid for still loving her but damn she was my wife and really I miss the woman I married, need to stop using alcohol to deadening my emotional pain, start letting people back in, god I sound like a whiny...
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Thinking of drinking myself into coma, im completely pissed and hurt tonight

For those of you that dont know I have horrible nightmares but the last week in with all the bad have been some really good, if you haven't seen supernatural then you won't understand the dream

Me and my brother Frost were like Dean and Sam, RaymondAlginon was our Bobby, but lots of others were there Kas and Phlea_ ran the crossroads bar, LadyCharlie and...
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Really down and depressed lately, thinking of just going off and hiding in a cave

Long ago in land that God forgot my brothers and I fought in a war, our body's and minds pushed beyond the breaking point, our battles tempered us making us stronger then we we're before, but deep inside us all the killing and fighting was starving our souls, poisoning us in ways we couldn't see or feel, all we knew was battle and the love...
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Wonder why people act like I have two heads when I say yes I'm Christian yes my best friend in the whole world the man is like blood to me is a native American pagan, yes I believe in magic, God the Devil, Angeles, Demons, and there truly is good an evil and that someday the world will end oh yes and believe prayers/meditation/positive thought...
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