Ah yes the awkwardness of only having access to the internet is a public place. Always feeling like eyes are burning you when you are writing emails. And as for this site...I've just decided to say "fuck it" and no longer worry who is sitting a row behind me and seeing every journal that I bring up.
Maybe it is sort of easier to do for the fact that I have already given up trying to project myself as some composed kid in this sea of people here on campus.
I though I was sort of ready to go back to school and be somewhat sociable. I mean, I had been doing fairly good getting out and meeting people over the past two months. I forgot to put the variables of "school" back into the whole thing though! You see, as I think I mentioned before, walking around my campus is like walking around a giant concert or a hipster bar...seemingly tons of people I'd want to talk to. The problem, though, is in the fact that for the past few months of hanging out I was with friends and/or (I think this is a big point) had a drink or two in me so my social anxiety wasn't shooting through the roof. I thought I was somewhat over this bullshit, but now find myself just pulling my headphones on and accepting that I could just as easily get through the day without a tongue. I could go on an on about all this but I guess I already made my point. I'm wasting my life away again. I hate school and am not at all interested in what I am studying. blah blah blah. yeah, but I've been really warming up to the new Bright Eyes stuff. To the point that it has now reached the status of 'very comforting'
The arc of time, the stench of sex
The innocence you can't protect.
An argument for consciousness
the instinct of the blind insect
who never thinks not to accept his fate, that's faith
there's happiness in death...
kisskissbillykiss!!!
Maybe it is sort of easier to do for the fact that I have already given up trying to project myself as some composed kid in this sea of people here on campus.
I though I was sort of ready to go back to school and be somewhat sociable. I mean, I had been doing fairly good getting out and meeting people over the past two months. I forgot to put the variables of "school" back into the whole thing though! You see, as I think I mentioned before, walking around my campus is like walking around a giant concert or a hipster bar...seemingly tons of people I'd want to talk to. The problem, though, is in the fact that for the past few months of hanging out I was with friends and/or (I think this is a big point) had a drink or two in me so my social anxiety wasn't shooting through the roof. I thought I was somewhat over this bullshit, but now find myself just pulling my headphones on and accepting that I could just as easily get through the day without a tongue. I could go on an on about all this but I guess I already made my point. I'm wasting my life away again. I hate school and am not at all interested in what I am studying. blah blah blah. yeah, but I've been really warming up to the new Bright Eyes stuff. To the point that it has now reached the status of 'very comforting'
The arc of time, the stench of sex
The innocence you can't protect.
An argument for consciousness
the instinct of the blind insect
who never thinks not to accept his fate, that's faith
there's happiness in death...
kisskissbillykiss!!!
The colleges in Ohio aren't so much full of hipsters as they are Abercrombie and Fitch wearing conservatives. Yeah, it kind of sucks.
I used to have social anxiety. A lot. Then I met my best friend Jessica, and she is so outgoing that it sort of rubbed off onto me. Now I am a ton more outgoing. I think if you met the right person and spent enough time with them, you would be more comfortable with your socializing abilities. Worked for me, anyway.
Or you could just come to Ohio and live with me and screw everyone else.