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longblackbangs

Auburn, CA

Member Since 2003

Followers 20 Following 16

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Sunday Jan 02, 2005

Jan 2, 2005
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I posted my apartment online last night and already buttloads of people are responding. Two came by today and it totally snapped me out of my dreamland of doing nothing. I frantically was running around cleaning the place, cleaning myself, and hiding any sort of items that may cause someone to question what sort of things go on here. It is weird to have people that you never met come into a world that only those who know you get to see. Anyway, I think it impressed the pants off them. So hopefully I will be able to get this whole thing out of the way and enjoy the rest of my time here soon.

As for now the house is empty and clean, it is pouring outside and a steady stream of Bowie and Talking Heads are occupying the turntable. It's nice.

Everyone seems to be making resolutions I guess. I never liked the idea but good, if anything, is all that can come out of it. So I guess I'm gonna try to stop complaining about life (there goes this journal), stop second-guessing (once again), and trying to be more social. So there. I'm not gonna make any outrageous claims like I'm gonna stop drinking or dedicate all this time to schoool. Giving up cold turkey or diving into something so hard that I can no longer stand it will only cause me to jump from one extreme to the next. I think in a roundabout way the other resolutions will help the whole.

You start a conversation you can't seem to finish it
You're talkin' a lot but you're not sayin' anything
When I have nothing to say my lips are sealed
Say something once why say it again
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
enid149815:
You lucky thing moving! I used to think that i hated moving as it is a pain packing and unpacking but i've decided that i love moving and really want to move someplace esle... Oh well...i'm sure i will soon enough.
Jan 5, 2005
kelland:
Hey you.

I hope that the arrival of my package will help some. Sweetheart, what's the matter? I'm worried about you. I understand the pains of anxiety disorder. When I was in 7th grade I started taking antidepressants for that, and even though I eventually weaned myself off, I know that I am still anxious. I have these terrible anxiety-induced terrors at night. I always have horrific dreams. So in all actuality, I'm not getting any "real" rest. I had an anxiety attack once and I felt the effects of it for almost two weeks. Last year, my nerves caused me to lose about 10 pounds. I stopped eating and sleeping and became a mess. I quit volleyball because of an anxiety attack at practice.

It's tough shit.

But you know that I'm here and I care about you. I know that doesn't seem like much since we only know each other through the internet and we are pretty far apart location-wise. But I really do care. You are one of my favorite people on here and I would hate to see something bad happen to you.

If you ever feel like you don't have anyone to talk to... that's not true. You have me. I don't care if you ever have to write me (material letter-wise or just e-mail) even if it's just to complain and vent. I don't care when people vent and complain to me. I encourage it. Anyway.

Be well and try to stay in touch.

Take care and mucho love from Kelland.

kiss
Jan 5, 2005

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