So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down,
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
To when I land to when I leave there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running when all I want is to lay motionless.
-bright eyes
(warning: it's sort of just complaining until the second to last paragraph...but read on.)
I guess I made an unconsious decision a little while ago that I was bored with making my life a totally tragic emo mess / a slow motion trainwreck / a subtle and slow suicide...you know, all that cliche imagery, and felt the need to pull other people in. Show them what second guessing everything to the point of insanity was really all about.
I had sort of made the decision that I indeed wanted to stay in SF and not go to Chico, but after bringing the idea up to those it would effect it seemed to make them second guess what they were doing. Due to all ths my roommate broke up with his girlfriend who lives in Chico when the topic that he no longer wants to go back there came up. And my best friend in Chico decided that unless I do move there he will probably leave and finish school elsewhere...elsewhere meaning I won't see him at all. Yeah we're all pretty fucked up kids, but I think that's why we get along so well.
So yeah what was once gonna be a housefull of friends that could have gotten by in town wwaaaayyyy worse than Chico is now gonna be people live in four different parts of the country.
Billy your a fucking genious!!! You've done it again you old dog you
So now I've seen even more good things about this place the tables are turned and my roommate says he now wants to go there and make it work...which is cool...but looking at prices alsewhere around this dollar sign city made me realize I might have to go to Chico because I can't afford this place whilst going to school.
Something to think about when you think of moving while going to school...don't move to the most expensive city in the 7th largerst economy in the world. It wont matter how cool the people here are if you are stuck in a little room eating Top Ramen and watered down soy milk...
On a good note though and speaking of cool people...hung out with Terental and Evil_Homer on both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon where we saw Santas (more than one) get in fistfights and makeout in dark corners...if your childhood is not already dead that will help you kiss in goodbye
Okay, no more essays about this whole moving ordeal, I promiss. The next time it comes up it will be because a definite decision has been come to.
EDITED TO SAY: Holy crap! Bright Eyes is doing a concert on PBS with Wilco on January 8th. That boy is gonna take over the fucking world soon. Number one and two on Billboard for his two singles, touring with REM. It is gonna be funny to see him as a household name in the beginning of '05 when the new albums come out when I can remember all the comments when "listening to garbage that just sounds like some kid crying."
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
To when I land to when I leave there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running when all I want is to lay motionless.
-bright eyes
(warning: it's sort of just complaining until the second to last paragraph...but read on.)
I guess I made an unconsious decision a little while ago that I was bored with making my life a totally tragic emo mess / a slow motion trainwreck / a subtle and slow suicide...you know, all that cliche imagery, and felt the need to pull other people in. Show them what second guessing everything to the point of insanity was really all about.
I had sort of made the decision that I indeed wanted to stay in SF and not go to Chico, but after bringing the idea up to those it would effect it seemed to make them second guess what they were doing. Due to all ths my roommate broke up with his girlfriend who lives in Chico when the topic that he no longer wants to go back there came up. And my best friend in Chico decided that unless I do move there he will probably leave and finish school elsewhere...elsewhere meaning I won't see him at all. Yeah we're all pretty fucked up kids, but I think that's why we get along so well.
So yeah what was once gonna be a housefull of friends that could have gotten by in town wwaaaayyyy worse than Chico is now gonna be people live in four different parts of the country.
Billy your a fucking genious!!! You've done it again you old dog you
So now I've seen even more good things about this place the tables are turned and my roommate says he now wants to go there and make it work...which is cool...but looking at prices alsewhere around this dollar sign city made me realize I might have to go to Chico because I can't afford this place whilst going to school.
Something to think about when you think of moving while going to school...don't move to the most expensive city in the 7th largerst economy in the world. It wont matter how cool the people here are if you are stuck in a little room eating Top Ramen and watered down soy milk...
On a good note though and speaking of cool people...hung out with Terental and Evil_Homer on both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon where we saw Santas (more than one) get in fistfights and makeout in dark corners...if your childhood is not already dead that will help you kiss in goodbye
Okay, no more essays about this whole moving ordeal, I promiss. The next time it comes up it will be because a definite decision has been come to.
EDITED TO SAY: Holy crap! Bright Eyes is doing a concert on PBS with Wilco on January 8th. That boy is gonna take over the fucking world soon. Number one and two on Billboard for his two singles, touring with REM. It is gonna be funny to see him as a household name in the beginning of '05 when the new albums come out when I can remember all the comments when "listening to garbage that just sounds like some kid crying."
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
so for now we are working for Thursday drinks
And placed it round my neck, and they were singing,
"Don’t you do what you’ve wanted to
Yeah, don’t destroy yourself like those cowards do
And maybe the sun keeps coming up because it has gotten used to you
And your constant need for proof"
I live on a literal and figurative island.
Fortunately there are many monkeys like me and we play together often. Mass exodus to the mainland happens once or twice a year. Some come back withh stories of cities of gold and lost fortunes. Some never come back. Some never leave (they are the ones I feel most sorry for).
It is claustraphobic and beautiful here.
I am claustraphobic and its been said you can spend a life time wondering if I'm beautiful or not. I'm not so sure myself.
The ones that come back crawl out of the ocean. Shaking and bruised. They fuck and breed and never leave. The ones that don't come back are revered as goddesses and enemies. They have nice hair cuts.
Soon I will go too.