longblackbangs

two of my favorite albums are also the hardest ones for me to listen to. im sure there is a link there and one doesn't have to dig to hard to find it. Fevers and Mirrors and Lifted... were pretty much the soundtrack of my life a little over a year ago and when one came out of the cd player the other surely went in. All the depression of that time comes back clearly when I hear them even though my feelings for her have since passed. Its like how smells vividly remind you of things you thought you completly had forgot about.

I haven't given them a listen in over 4 months, but now Lifted... is coming through the wall in the next room and I remember why I haven't. The feeling that I once had are gone but now I remember that in some bitter way they were a good feeling because at least they were a feeling. Life has now become such a handful in itself that that once idealistic strive would be a welcome change from the constant fear of moving, school, finance, and the overall fear of the future in general.

Longing was such a great crisis because it was the one life "problem" that seemed real and not dead inside...

Now I'm staring at my wrist hoping that the timing is right. When the planets will align. There will be no planets to align. Just the carcass of the sun and those little, painted marbles spinning senseless through an endless, black sky.