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lonesoldier

Salem, OR

Member Since 2011

Followers 60 Following 116

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Sunday Jan 15, 2012

Jan 14, 2012
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Lost.

I'm very lost.

Stage One

I have no idea what to do. Before I left I figured I had everything figured out. Since I was in middle school I figured I would stay in a job that involved the US Government, disappearing into the deepest secrets of our government. Leaving everything behind.

While I was over there I figured out, I didn't want to do that. It would be fun, I think i'm crazy for not doing it, would I be happy, yes I would. I would LOVE it. I spend alot of time studying what I would have been doing. I knew the information that I needed, more than enough to land me the job. But would I truly like that?

I don't know. I tend to run from things often, very often. Stopped everything in my tracks that would have led me to that area.. Since then I'm trying to figure out what I want to do in life. I have no idea.. I could stay on the track that I had planned on for years or find a new path?

If I stayed on the one I planned on. There would be no family, no kids, no life. Just my job. But I would love to have a family one day. Be a better father than mine was.

Stage Two

I'm so very tried of trusting people. Even in the smallest of things. Seems everyone just lets me down in this world. It's sickening. I don't get what has happened. Seems people these days are just to willing to just throw away a perfectly fine friendship over nothing.

Better off?

Only truly trust a handful of people. None of them are in my family. None of them are within 1,000 miles of me. Nearest is Minnesota then Germany.

Stage Three

Looking to leave.

I'm going to start my search soon of leaving this place. No idea where to yet. Plan on submitting an app to raytheon and heading south. As far south as I can get. Or to JCSE and head back east. Who knows if i ever will?

Either way. I need to leave. Been back in the real American World for bout 5 weeks now.

Objective:

Make shit up as I go. smile


On a side note: My today, but yesterday... Few friends of mine and I went shooting up in the mountains....got up there it was shitie weather, really cold, Oregon type of weather. So we popped off a few rounds then it just started snowing like a bat out of hell. Got everything back into the car and ready to go and there was already an inch of snow out on the road.

We made our way back down and my buddy lost control............. Whhheeeeeee!!! It was like playing bumper cars but with the sides of the road...one side then the next...he regained control...thankfully.

"The way of the warrior is the way of knowing..."

Peace.

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