I know, I know been forever since i last updated and this one is weak.............at least i updated. 
now here are some funny emails:
Female comebacks
Man:
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman:
Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man:
Is this seat empty?
Woman:
Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man:
Your place or mine?
Woman:
Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man:
So, what do you do for a living?
Woman:
I'm a female impersonator.
Man:
Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman:
Do not enter.
Man:
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman:
Unfertilized
Man:
Your body is like a temple.
Woman:
Sorry, there are no services today.
Man:
I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman:
But would you stay there?
Man:
If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman:
If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
>It is important for those of ALL faiths to recognize these Four Religious Truths:
> 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
> 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
> 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
> 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
PMS JOKE
Q : How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .
I'm sorry. What was the question?
WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES...
>
> Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:
>
> Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
> They said the Pabst beer is normal.
> I didn't know you liked beer.
I am bored
until next time
>
now here are some funny emails:
Female comebacks
Man:
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman:
Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man:
Is this seat empty?
Woman:
Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man:
Your place or mine?
Woman:
Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man:
So, what do you do for a living?
Woman:
I'm a female impersonator.
Man:
Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman:
Do not enter.
Man:
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman:
Unfertilized
Man:
Your body is like a temple.
Woman:
Sorry, there are no services today.
Man:
I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman:
But would you stay there?
Man:
If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman:
If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
>It is important for those of ALL faiths to recognize these Four Religious Truths:
> 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
> 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
> 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
> 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
PMS JOKE
Q : How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .
I'm sorry. What was the question?
WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES...
>
> Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:
>
> Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
> They said the Pabst beer is normal.
> I didn't know you liked beer.
I am bored
until next time
>
imyourgodnow:
lmao there ace
imyourgodnow:
thanks dear glad u like it 