Since I really feel the need to post and since no one is online and posting yet - I am doing the Katie thing and posting my previous entry inside this one. Here it is as a spoiler so you can iopt to view it or not:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Most people do not know about the problem I have with getting to places. If I cannot find a place (especially a place I ahve been before) - I start having an anxiety attack. Then I canot figure out where I am and I try in vain to find the place I was looking for. It doesnt help when, in the back of your mind you keep reminding yourself that you were there once before and you should be able to find the place.
Needless to say, it makes me feel horrible and makes me feel like I cannot do things for myself -- which makes me a combination of highly frustrated, discouraged, and unhappy -- all at once.
That is what happened tonight: I was supposed to meet everyone at the brewery -- and I could not find it. I ended up going over a bunch of bridges, getting txt messages lots -- ending up in a place i had no idea where i was -- then finding out i was clear at the other end of the city-- then got my way back to near where I started -- had a anxiety attack (aka panic attack) - decided to go back home --- got on interstate and was getting txt msgs -- then saw a cop car- and after I passed it, it decided to follow me (add one more panic attack)( and my heart was pounding HARD). It followed me for a while -- and when I took an exit (an early exit just so I coudl get away) -- the cop car followed me. After a few minutes (which seemed like a lifetime) he finally passed me.
Anyways, I didnt get to the brewery tonite (which, by the way- was my last night to do anything because of me finally getting a job- however it starts on Sunday night). THOUGH- everyone is going to Steak N Shake after the brewery- and I can find that VERY easily (right at the exit off the interstate) So I will be heading there in a minute.
I had my costume ready for the brewery too -- it sux royally when you have panic/anxiety attacks.
Oh- one more thing....
Went to orientation for the job today.. will be workign as a temp on 3rd shift. I needed the job so I could have a cash flow -- however there are MAJOR problems that arise because of me taking the job:
* job is 3rd shift- 11 pm to 7 am --- and at orientation they stated that there is mandatory overtime that you get told about. And that frequently you are working 10-12 hour shifts -- -which means I would miss my college algebra class.
* Monday morning is test in college algebra -- i sure hope they dont have me work overtime the first day because id be screwed roaylly.
* I e-mailed my instructor and tried to explain the situation NOW -- jsut in case I end up working overtime on sunday night and end up not in class for the test. If the current track record stands- he will not care and I'll flunk his class -- which in turn would put my financial aid in jeapordy MAJORLY.
We will see what hapens.
In a little bit I will be heading over to Steak n Shake and see everyne that is still around after the brewery.
Later
Today I am stressing out: I need to get all my math stuff done. I jsut got done with laundry -- and Im still woring on the math.
I e-mailed my math instructor yesterday and I have not heard anything from him -- which may mean he is not going to work with me and my situation that I might not be able to get to class. I cannot guarentee that I'd be able to get another job quickly from the temp service if I tell them I cannot do this one. And from what I was told about the job they want me to do -- it seems liike it may not be too bad: they told me I'd be punching in the numbers of the brake pedals - and then they would get the rubber put on them. I go to work tonight and see the job first hand --- but with me being soo stressed right now I dont know what is gonna happen. Furthermore, they do not allow cellphones in the bldg -- so I need to leave mine out in the car -- so even if I did find out I had to work 10-12 hours that night - I cannot leave a message that I wont be in class.
I am UBER stressed right now- and there is nothing I can do about it. UG!!!
hope your first day of work goes good and that you get things situated between your job and school. we cant have you stressing out like you are!
i'm completely exhausted, so i will read tomorrow! but i hope you have an amazing day sweetie!!!