lolablu

How gay is it that I went on a date with a guy last night, came home at 3:30, and immediately called a woman (Nefaria) to make vacation plans for Mexico? Pretty fucking gay.

I went on my date last night, and the guy was really nice, and objectively attractive, and we got along great and I liked him... but I spent the whole night checking out women. And then when he kissed me in the cab, it was OK till I knew he was going to put his tongue in my mouth, then I pulled away.

Now, I identify as bisexual, and I go through times, years even, when I'm much more attracted to one sex than the other, but such a strong feeling of not wanting to be close to a man, any man, is unusual for me.

I think right now I still feel so hurt by my last ex, who was a guy, that I've generalized negative feelings towards guys in general. And yeah, yeah. That kind of thinking is not fair to men, and it's not fair that it's along the ridiculous lines of "He turned me gay," but it's how I feel right now.

Brunch date with another guy in a few hours. We're old friends, though, so I should feel more comfortable.