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lokischild

hometown, usa

Member Since 2005

Followers 54 Following 69

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Monday May 02, 2005

May 2, 2005
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FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE HAVE TO FUCKING SUCK.
So I just found out that my ex (who said he was my friend and he still loved me and that this was just temporary and who I stupidly believed) went and spent the weekend with one of my friends. One of my oldest friends. One of my closest friends. One of the very few friends that I love and would trust to the end of the world. Whom I haven't seen since just before Thanksgiving, once, when I was home on leave from active duty. And before that I saw him once around Labor Day. I have been asking my ex to let me know when he was going up too see my dear dear friend, because since my friend moves around so much, I have no contact information, and no way of me getting up to see him unless I ride with my ex. My ex has gone to see him I'd say like 5-6 times since I have been back. When he knows that I want to see my friend. And he hasn't even called me. And how do I find this out? You would think that because we are still "friends", he would have told me when we hung out, or when he called me, or even when he immed me. No. I find out in his online journal. Which I found out about, by the way, from his away message. And in this journal, in just about every entry, he completely dissmisses me as a person from his life, like i had no effect whatsoever, which doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. It was more of the completely cutting me off from most of the friends I had before I left. And since they were friends with him before they were friends with me they're really not making too much effort to get in touch with me. And that hurts, it really does, because I thought that I had finally met some friends who actually cared about me and actually gave a shit, but apparently I was wrong. I thought that I had met the man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I got out of the military, because I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him to go fight in a stupid, pointless war that I didn't believe in. I didn't want him to have to go through that pain. And then he does this. Why do I trust people? Why do I open myself up to this pain?
-=squish=-
jackskellington3:
that sucks, see I've read about half the book now and I liked the movie, but you had to go in to the movie knowing that it wouldn't compair to the book
May 2, 2005

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