loki

So many false starts, how I can believe myself this time? So easy to give up, its the path most burned into my brain and we are so very much creatures of habit. Not this time... somehow. This time I won't start so I can't give up. I've already started, now I just have to continue. And every morning I will decide again to continue, to keep working, keep moving forward. All it takes is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and even if I only take one step a day, eventually I will get there.

Now all I have to do is convince myself tomorrow will be worth sacrificing some small part of today. I was never one who could be satisfied with looking forward to the future, I want it and I want it now. I still don't believe the sun will set and rise again and I am certainly not going to believe the earth will keep on spinning, the sun will keep on burning, another 20 or 30 or 50 days... Today I am alive and healthy and have the things I need... tomorrow it could all be gone. But at some point philosophy must give way to empty faith and I must hope for the future that I will achieve the things I want today.

Wish me luck!
This is no beginning, this is simply the middle and it has to get better before it can end, climax is irremovable from my life. ( )