loismustdie

i had this urge to call one of my friends out of nowhere on saturday... she's the first girl that i had any kind of bisexual experimentations with and she and i both really really loved one another...

anyway, i just felt out of nowhere that i needed to call her... and i called her 5 minutes before she walked down the aisle... she told me that she had spent the entire evening before trying to call me because my invitation had gotten returned to her (she managed to forget to put a stamp on it!) and she said that she'd cried and cried and had been hoping she could get me on the phone early enough for me to hop on a plane and be there for her... my how the best laid plans...

anyway, i didn't know what to say... i don't have anything against the guy she's marrying... he's a really sweet guy and he's stuck by her through alot... it's just that i think she could still do better... maybe that's just my protective nature coming out... i just feel really weird about this... she'd spent years dealing with her feelings for me while i tried to figure out my sexuality... and now she's married...
i don't know...

i got off the phone and i just fucking cried my eyes out... called clint and he made me laugh by reminding it was she who forgot to put a stamp on the fucking thing... that it wasn't my fault and that he didn't think she'd have come to my wedding if we'd gotten married in december like we'd originally planned... which i don't believe is true, but he can't stand her so he always doubts her motives...

anyway...

had my orientation today and i start tomorrow... got some really cute pants and tops for work... and some new makeup... whoo!

much love