llouys

weirdly, i have reentered the elliott smith world. i didn't tihnk i ever would, but then thanks to the guy who managed to put out new moon, i'm knee deep in it again.

to be honest, i think it's highly unhealthy. when shit goes wrong in your world and you stomp back into your car and put self titled in and flip the bird to the masonic temple as you "peel out" in your parents' shitty car, in that situation, your brain will just soak up some alternative mythos.

and mine is elliott smith.

i think probably, on some scale, elliott smith was really an asshole. he was a user, he wrote (incredible) kiss off songs to his best friends, one by one, inevitiably. he was a tank of talent, he did it all himself, and he knew that he was never going to find anyone who was really right to work with him. i think he did that duet with the girl with the spinanes because he wanted to fuck her. i hope so. i hope he did.

the thing is, i love that anger. i love the way it was simultaneously offhand and perfect, like drunken kung fu.

and i can't stop listening to his music, i feel like i will listen to it forever, and the only analogy i can make is to someone who is religious, and listens to chants obsessively.

shiva opens her arms, and all that. well, kali, more like. that's why he scrawled her name on his forearm with a sharpie. a long time before he stabbed himself in the heart with another variety of sharpie (the steak knife variety), he knew what his fate was, and he turned it into a kiss off song===