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llewella

Brisbane, Australia

Member Since 2009

Followers 173 Following 184

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Tuesday May 10, 2011

May 10, 2011
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The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of. : Blaise Pascal

So unravels the wrapping of my parade of late. Like The Emperor I strut with baring certainty that my cloak is the most beautiful. He is teaching me so much about possibility.

I have realised that in the past, because I have a good imagination I suppose, my loves have been projections of my ideals. As though I compensated for what they did not live up to by projecting an essence of what I wanted into them. Life has taught me that I do well to stick to my integrity and not stray from my vision of (the desired kind of) love - rather than compensating for what is not achieved by adding that to the relationship myself. I am so very glad I kept integrity and did not play the 'be lenient and appreciate what you've got' card.

With Vaughn it is as though my mind conjured these ideals. Just when passion seemed seperate from peace I find spiritual solace in him amongst a fire of fever. I want to share all that he teaches me with you because I think love and the world can seem desolate and cynical and over-rated. Right now I feel a desperation to be as grateful as possible for fear that this goes by unsavoured. So good it is, I find myself fighting afraids that something really tragic is going to happen. This real is too surreal to really realise. And yet I know and have believed to manifestation. I feel humbled for him, but I feel more humbled for the tremulous terrific madness that is the given synchronicity of life. Life humbles me, and Vaughn is the magician who pulled it out from his box of tricks.

Why do people wait til time robs us before they appreciate? Watchmen forever waiting for the thief. We are fools for misery and perpetuate drama to verify life's loneliness to ourselves. I am so afraid to become one of these bitter people.

The dark is just part of the day, and I think I am staying on the sunny side up.

Solace and Sunshine

Llewella xxx

greyback:
You look so happy...good for you smile
May 11, 2011

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