+ I'm screaming at the walls but they care not, I'm shouting your name in the dark, but you're as deaf as I am blind. The monsoon's taken over the noise in my head, the hurricane's in my lungs, the tidal wave is in my stomach, the lightning is in my heart. + none of it makes me feel good. The tide has turned, + I feel lost in this coastal town, alone + afraid. I fast forwarded too far, the train derailed far from the station, the passengers are spilling out + fading away, they can't hear the shouts in the dark, the wind snatches the words + tosses them into the bleak night. It went too wrong too fast, + there was nothing I could do to rewind. I paused, but not long enough. The darkness swallows me, + I am lost in this town. The lighthouse offers no sanctuary, the bulb blown long ago.
"I think we should slow down. I can't call anyone my girlfriend, it's too soon for me."
The night's shattered. The calm's gone. There's only a sick churning feeling inside, the fear that I might lose again, that I might lose the one thing that's been so good to me recently. I'm sick + I'm scared. I don't know how I'll win this one if it ends.
Robot Love
This is something I wrote in August '06, but I've never posted it here before. Strangely enough, it's one of my favourite pieces of writing that I've done.
Our first dance was to the sound of the crickets in a sunburnt field, dead grass prickling our legs. Our first break up, your tears ran onto my cheeks as your nicotine-stained fingers held my hair. You told me you'd love me forever. Our first fight, a cigarette burning my hand as I felt the floor fall out from under me. We lay on tarmac + spoke of the years to come, you slid a ring on my finger + said it would be forever. I lay with your head on my lap as I counted your breaths, listening to your heart beat - you're still alive, the alcohol you drowned yourself in not reaching your lungs. You crawled into bed with me, whispering as our bodies intermingled + became one. You told me you loved me as you kissed her, with every breath you were mine. You cried + said nothing was wrong. You lied to me as you told me the truth. You broke me as your repaired me. I don't need a map to see where we went off road, where we lost our way. No directions would have pointed us back. You broke a piece of my heart to keep with you, you said. I never thought you'd keep it forever.
"I think we should slow down. I can't call anyone my girlfriend, it's too soon for me."
The night's shattered. The calm's gone. There's only a sick churning feeling inside, the fear that I might lose again, that I might lose the one thing that's been so good to me recently. I'm sick + I'm scared. I don't know how I'll win this one if it ends.
Robot LoveThis is something I wrote in August '06, but I've never posted it here before. Strangely enough, it's one of my favourite pieces of writing that I've done.
Our first dance was to the sound of the crickets in a sunburnt field, dead grass prickling our legs. Our first break up, your tears ran onto my cheeks as your nicotine-stained fingers held my hair. You told me you'd love me forever. Our first fight, a cigarette burning my hand as I felt the floor fall out from under me. We lay on tarmac + spoke of the years to come, you slid a ring on my finger + said it would be forever. I lay with your head on my lap as I counted your breaths, listening to your heart beat - you're still alive, the alcohol you drowned yourself in not reaching your lungs. You crawled into bed with me, whispering as our bodies intermingled + became one. You told me you loved me as you kissed her, with every breath you were mine. You cried + said nothing was wrong. You lied to me as you told me the truth. You broke me as your repaired me. I don't need a map to see where we went off road, where we lost our way. No directions would have pointed us back. You broke a piece of my heart to keep with you, you said. I never thought you'd keep it forever.
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xoxox