This is from my myspace blog...I didin't feel like making the changes so it would fit seamlessly in here.
So I finally did some trimming of my friend list...and I was probably more generous than I should have been. I'm in a bit of the "tired of the bullshit" mood tonight. It seems as much as I try to avoid drama, the shit always seems to find me, one way or the other. (If you're reading this Erin, I'm sure you can appreciate the irony.) So I sit here and listen to 'Simple Man' by Lynyrd Skynyrd (and if you don't know it, do us all a favor and just go ahead and die) and I'm thinking that's all I really want, is to be a simple man. But, goddamn, it's hard. Between trying to be an upstanding citizen, trying to deal with my psychotic ex, trying just to find a decent circle of friends (nods to Minnie Driver), ....what the fuck is a guy supposed to do these days? You know, it's funny...5, 6 years ago, before I joined the military, I didn't have any direction in life. I wasn't going anywhere, I was just a bartender trying to get laid, and living life day to day. Now, I live in a nice place, I've got a new truck, I have money to spend, all that shit that you're supposed to work for, but fuck....I was happier then. I had more peace of mind, I still believed in mankind's innate goodness, I was HAPPY. What the fuck happened? By all accounts, I should be friggin' ecstatic right now, all things considered. I guess it really goes to show that happiness isn't based on what you have, but it's instead a state of mind. Of course, this is something I've known all along, and something I used to preach like the gospel to all my friends that came to me seeking advice. I wish I could find the me of about 6 years ago, and get him to give me the same advice and wisdom I used to give everyone else. I suppose it's partly because I've felt so let down by other people, partly because I feel like I've let myself down in so many ways. Maybe if I do like LS says, and just follow my heart, things will work themselves out. I used to know all the answers, I used to know what was really going on........ If only I could still remember.
So I finally did some trimming of my friend list...and I was probably more generous than I should have been. I'm in a bit of the "tired of the bullshit" mood tonight. It seems as much as I try to avoid drama, the shit always seems to find me, one way or the other. (If you're reading this Erin, I'm sure you can appreciate the irony.) So I sit here and listen to 'Simple Man' by Lynyrd Skynyrd (and if you don't know it, do us all a favor and just go ahead and die) and I'm thinking that's all I really want, is to be a simple man. But, goddamn, it's hard. Between trying to be an upstanding citizen, trying to deal with my psychotic ex, trying just to find a decent circle of friends (nods to Minnie Driver), ....what the fuck is a guy supposed to do these days? You know, it's funny...5, 6 years ago, before I joined the military, I didn't have any direction in life. I wasn't going anywhere, I was just a bartender trying to get laid, and living life day to day. Now, I live in a nice place, I've got a new truck, I have money to spend, all that shit that you're supposed to work for, but fuck....I was happier then. I had more peace of mind, I still believed in mankind's innate goodness, I was HAPPY. What the fuck happened? By all accounts, I should be friggin' ecstatic right now, all things considered. I guess it really goes to show that happiness isn't based on what you have, but it's instead a state of mind. Of course, this is something I've known all along, and something I used to preach like the gospel to all my friends that came to me seeking advice. I wish I could find the me of about 6 years ago, and get him to give me the same advice and wisdom I used to give everyone else. I suppose it's partly because I've felt so let down by other people, partly because I feel like I've let myself down in so many ways. Maybe if I do like LS says, and just follow my heart, things will work themselves out. I used to know all the answers, I used to know what was really going on........ If only I could still remember.