okokokokokok...so I haven't updated ina while. What are you really gonna do about it?
I've been busy working....and playing. The show I'm working on is in the middle of tech week. Which means my ass is pretty much always at the theatre.......of course most of my time is spent in smoke breaks with the director and other designers talking smack about Mr. Soandso and Ms. Suchandsuch. It's a rough life I lead.
The SETC convention thinggy is in town and last night, after work, I swung by my alma mater's big homecoming shin-dig. It felt great to be there and be one of the working ones, even if I did get the gloss over from a few folks. I drank a bucket o' wine, unhinged my jaw, and probably said far more than I ever should have......cause I always do.
The other big news is that I've been spending a great deal of time in my head lately, picking through my thoughts and motivations, and coming to the conclusion that I want to move back to NC. I miss light, and air, and space, and large expanses of green. I'm generally happier here, plus I'm starting to question the lifestyle package that comes with being a freelance designer....and that was the whole 'ends' for which NY was a justifiable 'means'.
I came out of the gate fast and furious, I marched up to NY and knocked on the biggest door I could find, and while I found some success there I suppose I just don't want it anymore.
The flipside of this decision is that if I don't want, NY, grad school, and a freelance career....then what the hell do I want?
I thought I was the chick who had all her shit together and knew exactly what she wanted. I was hopeing to bypass the standard issue early-twenties existential crisis.
I was wrong about all that. But its gonna be alright because it always is. I'll find someway to be brave about it, to jump into the confusion with both feet and splash about making a big beautiful mess of all this muck. I'll figure it out.
I've been busy working....and playing. The show I'm working on is in the middle of tech week. Which means my ass is pretty much always at the theatre.......of course most of my time is spent in smoke breaks with the director and other designers talking smack about Mr. Soandso and Ms. Suchandsuch. It's a rough life I lead.
The SETC convention thinggy is in town and last night, after work, I swung by my alma mater's big homecoming shin-dig. It felt great to be there and be one of the working ones, even if I did get the gloss over from a few folks. I drank a bucket o' wine, unhinged my jaw, and probably said far more than I ever should have......cause I always do.
The other big news is that I've been spending a great deal of time in my head lately, picking through my thoughts and motivations, and coming to the conclusion that I want to move back to NC. I miss light, and air, and space, and large expanses of green. I'm generally happier here, plus I'm starting to question the lifestyle package that comes with being a freelance designer....and that was the whole 'ends' for which NY was a justifiable 'means'.
I came out of the gate fast and furious, I marched up to NY and knocked on the biggest door I could find, and while I found some success there I suppose I just don't want it anymore.
The flipside of this decision is that if I don't want, NY, grad school, and a freelance career....then what the hell do I want?
I thought I was the chick who had all her shit together and knew exactly what she wanted. I was hopeing to bypass the standard issue early-twenties existential crisis.
I was wrong about all that. But its gonna be alright because it always is. I'll find someway to be brave about it, to jump into the confusion with both feet and splash about making a big beautiful mess of all this muck. I'll figure it out.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
salomegoddess:
I feel you on every level- I'm sure that NC is amazing... If I were from there I would probably go back to- I was born in the city and I have a very strong love/hate relationship with this city- I'm always planning my escape... but t the same time you came here for a reason- see if you can sort that out before goin back
elmcitydrunk:
I just noticed that you're one of the recommended members in my dating profile hullabaloo. So, whatta you say? At any rate- those kinds of thoughts are never easy to work out. I don't envy you the decisions you'll be making, but woud advise a long and serious process. Make sure there's no room for regret to seep in. I have identity/future crisis all the time. They suck. Hope you make it through hell week unscathed and have some fun along the way.
At any rate- those kinds of thoughts are never easy to work out. I don't envy you the decisions you'll be making, but woud advise a long and serious process. Make sure there's no room for regret to seep in. I have identity/future crisis all the time. They suck. Hope you make it through hell week unscathed and have some fun along the way.