littlegirllost

I don't belong in offices. All the lightbulbs flicker here and the air is so dry. I bring disaster into organized environments. What were they thinking? To hire ME as a secretary, even just for a week? To allow me to answer their phones and send their faxes and percolate their coffee? Haven't they seen my room, the carpet of discarded clothes, the forgotten post-it notes on every surface?
Well, I'll answer the phone if I hear it, but it's easy to tune out when I'm reading. The mail is piling up, unopened. The boss just asked about a fax he is waiting for and I just looked at him and shrugged. "I didn't see anything." What are they gonna do, fire me?
I received the bathroom key at the beginning of the week and promptly lost it. Yesterday was the worst. I had to pee so badly, but no one was here to unlock the door for me. Options limited, I crouched in the corner and peed into a plastic cup. And then another one.
I had to exit the building with two nearly overflowing cups of steaming urine. The maintenance man was coming in as I left. "Drinking on the job?" he asked, smiling. "Uh, yeah," I said. "You know it." I would have given him a high five, but my hands were full.
Today I spent my lunch hour on the lawn, doing yoga and eating a green pepper like an apple. It is a beautiful, mild day. The lawn here is exquisite.