Chad Kroeger: FUCK YOU!!!!!
ok, I'm going to be honest, I actually had to GOOGLE his name because that's HOW INSIGNIFICANT YOU ARE YOU SHIT (if he reads this ever).
Right off the bat, I'm pretty sure everyone already hates Nickelback, but in case you didn't...or had a lobotomy...there is new reason to LOATHE this band.
Thank fucking god for a 'hit single' like "Something In Your Mouth":
"Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body
They say it's over budget, but you'd pay her just to touch it, come on!
Dirty little lady with the pretty pink thong
Every sugar daddy hitting on her all night long
Doesn't care about the money, she could be with anybody
Ain't it funny how the honey wanted you all along!
Crafty little lip tricks, tattoos on her left hip
She's bending as you're spending, there's no end to it, so baby come on!
You're ripping up the dance floor honey
You shake your ass around for everyone
I love the way you dance with anybody
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
You're so much cooler when you never pull it out
'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth"
*hits the breaks*
In case you need to lose your lunch (if you havent already) hearing these lyrics come out of that heinous and repulsive mouth actually makes the experience worse...
Dear Chad,
1) If I ever live the dishonor of seeing you in person, I'm going to shove a whole lot more than my thumb in your mouth....Can you be more disgusting, ridiculous and degrading. I would expect this from some imbecile rapper, but really? can you actually make 'redneck' that much tackier....yes, i guess you can.
2) Despite that staggering, root-exposed hair-fail, the DUI's, and otherwise amazing discography, Id be surprise to suspect you got laid regularly before(if anything, (most unfortunately) your "career" has probably helped in that department), but now, your chances are so fucking zero (then again i pretty much have no faith in women today, and im not even that much of a feminist)
3)
Were you in Hanson? P.S.: this picture would look a lot cooler with something in your mouth
ok, I'm going to be honest, I actually had to GOOGLE his name because that's HOW INSIGNIFICANT YOU ARE YOU SHIT (if he reads this ever).
Right off the bat, I'm pretty sure everyone already hates Nickelback, but in case you didn't...or had a lobotomy...there is new reason to LOATHE this band.
Thank fucking god for a 'hit single' like "Something In Your Mouth":
"Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body
They say it's over budget, but you'd pay her just to touch it, come on!
Dirty little lady with the pretty pink thong
Every sugar daddy hitting on her all night long
Doesn't care about the money, she could be with anybody
Ain't it funny how the honey wanted you all along!
Crafty little lip tricks, tattoos on her left hip
She's bending as you're spending, there's no end to it, so baby come on!
You're ripping up the dance floor honey
You shake your ass around for everyone
I love the way you dance with anybody
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
You're so much cooler when you never pull it out
'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth"
*hits the breaks*
In case you need to lose your lunch (if you havent already) hearing these lyrics come out of that heinous and repulsive mouth actually makes the experience worse...
Dear Chad,
1) If I ever live the dishonor of seeing you in person, I'm going to shove a whole lot more than my thumb in your mouth....Can you be more disgusting, ridiculous and degrading. I would expect this from some imbecile rapper, but really? can you actually make 'redneck' that much tackier....yes, i guess you can.
2) Despite that staggering, root-exposed hair-fail, the DUI's, and otherwise amazing discography, Id be surprise to suspect you got laid regularly before(if anything, (most unfortunately) your "career" has probably helped in that department), but now, your chances are so fucking zero (then again i pretty much have no faith in women today, and im not even that much of a feminist)
3)
Were you in Hanson? P.S.: this picture would look a lot cooler with something in your mouth
Dear Girls who like this song,
Im going to fucking sucker punch you. who the fuck sucks on their thumb at clubs? the sluts in Chad's dreams. UGH
The End.
Oh and just cuz you actually stuck around to read that little rant about my future wedding song, here are some updates cuz i look significantly different now (yea by that i mean i gained about 80 lbs.!):
and just for good measure, some tacky webcam pictures
VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
jmd5827:
this post is so kickass...you are a badass!!! xoxo
nirvanashift:
LOL Different stroke for different folks.