listennow1

hello

well eeerrrggghhh I have a cold again. I'm all snotty and sore throat. I hope i get better asap.I go away 2 weeks today and I want to in good health to enjoy it!

I still think I have a lot to prepare for my trip. Like what im going to take my luggage in, looking at size and weight and all that. Look at train times to get to the airport. Maybe working out some sort of budget. And putting down some more a definite plan of things to do. My Californian friend may now not be able to come to the roller derby with me but I'm still going to try and go. I'm starting to get a bit scared but hopefully I can man up and do it.

So things have got a bit weird and unusual for me. A girl I was previously sort of seeing went all quiet and not really talking to me. So i ended up meeting up with another girl. I thought at first it was just going to be a normal date, watching a movie, having a drink. In the end we went back to hers for food, and well one thing led to another. I missed the last train and had to stay over. I felt pretty bad because even though with the first girl we were never going out, i still felt bad. But then it turns out she was probably meeting up with a new guy at the same time anyway. But now I'm not sure what to do. Obviously its over with the first girl, but now I don't know what to do with the new girl. I'm not used to being in a situation like this so I think that's why i've just been going along with it. I'm not proud of myself. I'm not sure If I even like myself right now. But I don't quite know what to feel. As part of me is already thinking of the next girl.

I am a horrible person.



going a bit country on you there.