listennow1

Hello.

So I have been looking at moving on and moving forward. This has involved finally starting to plan my trip to america! I'm trying to get it sorted as soon as really, but realistically thinking end of March/beginning of April. Just need to book the time off work and book the flights and hostels. So far planning on spending a few days in New York, a few days in Chicago and then the rest of the time in LA. I have a friend who i'll have been speaking to online for over a year that i'll finally get to meet in LA, so i'm very excited! Going to a travel agents tomorrow to see if there's anything they can offer me, if not i'll book it all seperately myself and organise it all myself. I know I have the capability to do and thats what part of this trip is for me. Finally actually making myself use my potential and do things I know I can myself. Instead of hiding behind other people and getting them to do stuff. I want to finally show to myself that I am actually capable of organising something positive for myself. That I can do it, and I have the confidence to fly out to a country I've never been too before, when i've never flown on my own before, and I can do it, and I can enjoy it.

Also been starting to look for a new job as well. Not just specifically emailing companies out of the blue asking for a job, but actually looking at whats out there and seeing other sorts of things that I can do and enjoy. Still stuff sort of related to music/tv, like researcher jobs, working royalties. Ones even to do with social networking stuff, sounds pretty fun! I probably won't hear back from any of these jobs but it's a start. Instead of letting my current job get me down I'm just not caring about it, not putting the effort in, not letting it worry me. Which probably isn't the best thing to do, but it stops me getting down.

I feel at the moment I am thoroughly kicking depression in the ass. Now I have things to look forward too take my mind of things I don't have. I got thoroughly let down by some 'friends' at the weekend (which meant i missed an SGUK meet, my first that i was super excited for) but instead of staying mad, i just thought you know what, thats kinda what i expect from them, and thats the last opportunity they get. Next time if i have plans, im sticking to them. I'm going to do things that make me happy. I will still care about how it affects others, but I'm about making myself happy. I don't want that to make me become selfish, but I'm better for other people when i'm on form, and i'm on form when i'm happy.

But anyways i'll shut up for a little while as this has become longer than i thought it would be. I just hope everyone can take a positive attitude to their lives. I know its so hard and its taking a lot of effort to try to maintain it (and a bit of medication) but it has to be worth it. So if anyone knows of anything happening in SG land around then that i can join in on, let me know!

Anyway i really shall shut up now and leave you with an awesome song. great riff



(ps i have not proof read this)