lissajoan

So, the job search is going....well, its going. I recently got so far as the interview, which I havent had to do in a long time. Its funny how fresh out of school you are prepared for those things, but as soon as you sit down with someone after not having interviewed in years you start saying stupid shit. I must have said "Gosh" and "Actually" 50 times. I was just trying so hard not to say "Fuck," "shit," "damn," or their competitor's name by mistake. I was so freaking nervous that I think I totally blew it. They finally called to tell me that they didnt want me.

I am just at the point where I am freaking sick of working in retail. I dont think I like people enough to work with them. But I am afraid that I am stuck in the retail black hole forever. Mom wants me to apply at the bank so I can hate my job as much as she does, I guess.

I am also having trouble making girlfriends. I have a few close ones but they are so scattered...too far away and most of them cant really relate to me anyway. It doesnt help that I am such a homebody. I like nothing more than sitting on the couch in front of the tv with some kind of crafty project. And it kinda pisses me off when I bitch about something and everyone around me responds with, "you just need to find some friends to hang out with!" I've thought about it and Im not sure they are right.

Besides, the girls I know are weird. Most of them just bitch about how fat they are. I was talking to 2 chicks one night and they started the "Im so fat--no youre not, Im fat!--no way! look at my thighs!---etc" tirade. Im like "okay I spent too fucking long trying to like myself to listen to these skinny bitches."