Friday Mar 12, 2004

0
why do i gotta be so stupid? what compels me so? if i have to answer for myself, i can assign blame or suck it up. I'll suck it up and say it's just my faulty programming. My mental defects. My inability to see past myself and my actions. I desire truth and honesty, and I breed something else entirely. I don't want to lose her, but I want her to see me and know me. There is little more I can do. I've told her all there is, except she does not know me. I am numb, but I will hurt again soon. I already ache in her absence.
link:
heh. andy. you're fucked up on exhaustion right now. you haven't had solid food stay in you for over 24 hours now. you haven't slept in 34 hours. you're fucked up. and right now, at this place in time, you're a happy giddy motherfucker. ride the choo-choo spacecase cowboy. this is better than drugs, admit it. this is what it was like back in the day. pure, nonsense exhaustion. the best there is. this is what it's all about. this is being all alone and human at its best. this is seeing it all coming at you head on and aint it all beautiful. smile for the camera.
menotyou:
Dude...it's times like this I wish I had a lock on my door.

The way I see it, this can do down two ways:

1-You get some food and a full nights rest. Then tomorrow you focus all your pain and angst into something creative like a script or painting.
or
2-I secretly slip a heroic dose of shrooms in your salad and spend the next week in a motel.

Your choice man.

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