Ah the sadness of letting someone go. The past weekend has been quite a trying one. An ex boyfriend that I have become very close to has just left for the air force and will be gone for about six years. It hurts my heart to think about it and yet, everyday he is in my mind. It was a complicated and messy relationship that turned into a horrible hate and still it evolved. It became beautiful love and passion and understanding of one another. I have never had another human being mean so much to me in such a short amount of time. He is the most important relationship I have had to date. He taught me how to say no and how to stand up for myself. He also told me, in his own way, what it really means to care for someone. Everyday we broke each other, physically and emotionally, and by the nighttime I was flashing the porchlight to say goodnight as his car pulled away, loving him for another damn day. And every morning was the same routine, the same tears would cross my cheeks and the same stupid words would come pouring from his lips. Some days we would just hit each other with fists and open hands and other days it was words, spewing, the deadliest poison we could conjure up. And still through all this I adore him and I'm sure he feels the same. We have become civilized, but loving and passionate until the end. He will be the only one that knows it all, that knows what a horrible girlfriend I can be and how people touch me way deep inside. He knows that the word relationship is something I don't toss around lightly. He knows that I let everyone I meet into my heart, but there are forces in me that are much stronger than my heart. I love him for all that he is and all that he has yet to become. I know he will do great things with his life and touch many others. I know he will leave crying girls in his wake, but he will press on. He has a strong heart and an even stronger mind and together he conquers all.
