lindex

What would I not do for a vacation from the turmoil of my conscience.
I'm commiting the oh so average shitty thing to-do, I'm fooling around with someone who may not have a completely clear view of my feelings.
I tend to get my self into these conflicted sort of situations way to often, but more often is has nothing to-do with sex.

I feel like I whine to my self to much, Do I really have the right?
I'm of the sound opinion that more often then not people do not understand me or what I say(in other words I get mis-taken alot).
I know this because people treat me in ways that are so far off from the prescribed reaction to what I believe that I am putting forward.
It's more own fault however, If I'm not quiet (which I am often) then I am speaking in terms that only I can really understand.
So how do I become a better communicator?
One of these days I'm going to explode, I will let go, but I hope the result is positive for those around me.
I would hate to be one of those people remembered after they die as "That tortured soul who just couldn't take anymore" or "That disturbed young man who took his pain out on those around him".
I want to let go and release and when I wake up from that furious revelation.
I want to see that I have changed the world for the better and that in some way I have made those I care about happier.
I wish I had a cause.