lindex

my heart does not speak today.

<geek>me</geek>

Desperate lies are a possible sign of a sudden change of heart.
I much love for all those around me, but have found no way to really convey it.
Maybe the cause of this effect is conjoined with the effect of my hardly being able to take a complement correctly, or at least not feeling as though my response does the complement justice.
Justice now...
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under destruction

What would I not do for a vacation from the turmoil of my conscience.
I'm commiting the oh so average shitty thing to-do, I'm fooling around with someone who may not have a completely clear view of my feelings.
I tend to get my self into these conflicted sort of situations way to often, but more often is has nothing to-do with sex.

I feel...
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If the pattern and form of thought are the cause and result of existence and reality then all is a more than a matter of relativity, maybe a cyclical relativity is you will?
For the sake of argument Im going to have to give a starting point and a few givens.
Given that the universe that we exist in or space is infinite and given...
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Errm, ImageMagick takes forever to compile.
So my arm is feeling much better today, for those of you who don't know (and most likely dont care) I fell skateboarding down at the Burnside Skate Park.
I bruised my elbow so bad that the swelling has prevented me from moving my arm very much; however, it is a remarkable improvement today.
I can't afford a doctor...
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My elbow hates me.
I need someone to draw cute pictures on my sling.
thats it for this one handed jounal entry.

Is manipulation really evil?
Its hard to show the people who you really care about and respect that you are honest to them when they objectively witness you manipulate a situation.
How does a social shade such as my self really convey to people that they are infact interacting with the real me?

And old friend called me on the phone today while I was...
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Well Yesturday was pretty fuggin good.
I got some new shoes (yay new skate shoes)
I got to go have sushi with SGPDX, though I had to miss lasertag.
I drank a little and played pool.
Just a pretty well rounded evening.

Now I have to go kill my self on my land plank.

Have you ever had that twinge, that moment in time where you make the choice not to cross the line and absolutly ruin someone.
I had that choice tonight, and I didnt; I'm regretting it right now.
There is a ball of hate inside me ready to explode and I have no way to release.

Arg, fer some tupid reason I can't change my profile pic.
I have a nifty new picture and everything
I'm looking forward to saturday when I can kick it with some peepz and maybe be finally done with all this werk bullshit going on.
I met a cool girl, well actually I got to know a girl I have met and found out she was...
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