At this point in my nursing degree Im required to do 48 hours of prac in a nursing home. Yesterday was the halfway mark and it has seriously got me thinking. Being a carer in a locked dementia ward will naturally do that I suppose.

Listening to the constant wail of the tiny holocaust survivor who is so frail she cant even hold her own head up, feeding people who have pretty much given up on life, calming the lady who was hysterical because she couldn't find her way home from school and her mother was going to be worrying, I found myself questioning if I was actually strong enough to cope with all this and be a nurse.

Thankfully i was kept far too busy to stop me from having a full blown existential crisis :P

As I left for the day, I was expecting all this worry to hit me... but i found myself smiling. All the way home I was in such a great mood! And thats when I realised, the good things are what stay with you. John's nonsensical conversation as he held my hand and took me for a walk, Clayson kissing and rocking her baby doll to sleep, Elsie lighting up upon seeing her beautiful new blue shoes, Franks laugh and cheeky toothless grin, Kelvin and I getting to go for a quick walk outside where he told me about being a farmer all his life and NEEDING to be outside and how he escaped last week and got all the way to the corner before they found him! He let me in on the secret that he is planning another just as soon as he has everything he needs!

The joyous, wonderful things are at least as intense as the tough parts and Im actually finding myself eager to get back. I think that maybe I could have what it takes after all ;)