so schools got me insanely busy but my friends have been awesome about taking up all my free time, which i love cos otherwise id be alone and horribly bored. my best pal kevin got out of prison about a month ago and ive been spending a lot of time with him. he really is the one guy in my life that i want to forever be a part of everything i do. ive missed him terribly and the stories he told me about being locked up for two years were so horrific that i couldnt sleep the night after he told me what went down.... im so proud of him for figuring out his life, i really thought id have to watch him kill himself with bad decisions and mistakes. my other friend Buddy is in town for a few more weeks before he heads back out to college land so ive been with him a lot too. its funny how my circle has changed in such a short period of time. tomorrow im balancing it all out by hanging with my bestie and hopefully introducing her to kevin. he is going through some really rough shit that i realized i am going thru too. relationships that we make ourselves believe are good that truly are destroying us. what im trying to do now is find the strength to end it with my girlfriend cos she is never there and never cares when she is here about my well being and what is up in my life. all my friends want me to end it so its decided now all i need is the courage to actually follow thru. so wish me luck, im gonna try and get something done this weekend. not sure what will happen but im gonna try and make movements toward my own happiness versus hers and everyone elses. 