went to bed at 4am. woke up at 830am cos the dog puked on the bed. ew. its 1115am and my eyes are still blurred by sleep. whatever. puke happens. im just glad i didnt roll in it.
played lazer tag yesterday. it was just as awesome as i thought and i was the only girl who played. that kinda sucked- and i was the one that no one wanted to pair off with. i kinda felt like the last kid standing after kick ball teams were picked in grade school. but i scored- much better than bowling and i think i did an ok job of defending one of our 'bases.' we got to play with several small boys who were so loud and boisterous that i almost feared fo my safety. on the red team was me, caleb, josh, ryan and several very small boys who got mad at me cos i kept shooting them (and i know i wasnt supposed to but i couldnt help it. every time they got shot they would yell and scream! awesome). on the green team was steve, john, jeff, ethan and another gaggle of prepubescent little trolls. we played 2 games. green won the first one and red won the second. i think the only reason why we won the second game is cos Dominick was on our team- or at least thats what the little boys thought.
aside from lazer tag, i wondered around the parking lot- the lazerzone or whatever its called has shitty games and no pin ball. lame. and besides, i really didnt feel like i should have been there in the first place. but thats how it is with these people anyway. i can deal with a small crew of them but when it comes to the whole group of them i just feel way too awkward- especially since the break up- and fuck, im not even gonna touch on that.
i guess it boils down to me feeling unsatified with where i am. and being in a rut about stupid trivial shit is whats holding me back. i havent quite figured out how to get out of this rut- but at least i have identified it and know what the main issues are. the only shitty thing about it is my late night drives arent helping anymore. im way to restless.
got any suggestions?
played lazer tag yesterday. it was just as awesome as i thought and i was the only girl who played. that kinda sucked- and i was the one that no one wanted to pair off with. i kinda felt like the last kid standing after kick ball teams were picked in grade school. but i scored- much better than bowling and i think i did an ok job of defending one of our 'bases.' we got to play with several small boys who were so loud and boisterous that i almost feared fo my safety. on the red team was me, caleb, josh, ryan and several very small boys who got mad at me cos i kept shooting them (and i know i wasnt supposed to but i couldnt help it. every time they got shot they would yell and scream! awesome). on the green team was steve, john, jeff, ethan and another gaggle of prepubescent little trolls. we played 2 games. green won the first one and red won the second. i think the only reason why we won the second game is cos Dominick was on our team- or at least thats what the little boys thought.
aside from lazer tag, i wondered around the parking lot- the lazerzone or whatever its called has shitty games and no pin ball. lame. and besides, i really didnt feel like i should have been there in the first place. but thats how it is with these people anyway. i can deal with a small crew of them but when it comes to the whole group of them i just feel way too awkward- especially since the break up- and fuck, im not even gonna touch on that.
i guess it boils down to me feeling unsatified with where i am. and being in a rut about stupid trivial shit is whats holding me back. i havent quite figured out how to get out of this rut- but at least i have identified it and know what the main issues are. the only shitty thing about it is my late night drives arent helping anymore. im way to restless.
got any suggestions?
ninedayjane:
vacation? hang out with new people, that always helps me. I don't know being a rut is painful.