lilmissmorbid

Top Ten Best things about sex with the dead.

10. They never have a headache
9. They always swallow
8. They dont mind sleeping in the wet spot
7. After a few days, They never gets soft
6. They are never on the rag.
5. They never finish first
4. They never say "Is it in yet?" "You mean that's it?" or "Watch the teeth!"
3. They don't mind a golden shower, cameras or bondage
2. After a coupla weeks, you can ditch the lubricant
1. Sometimes after sex you get the munchies

Top Ten Worst things about sex with the dead

10. After a couple weeks, they tend to stick to one position, not to mention the sheets
9. The wet spot gets bigger every time
8. After sex in a jaccuzzi, you need a new one
7. In a word--Morning Breath of the Dead
6. Can tip over in more sophisticated positions unless you employ a spotter
5.More difficult to dispose of than used condom unless you own a garbage disposal or pizza place
4. Hard to store, but then you don't have to blow them up
3.Messy when autopsy suture opens
2. Fly strips get caught in your hair
1. Hard to stay excited with other mourners trying to get you off casket