The Super Creepy Strip Club Adventure:
Today's lesson is about the strip club hunt. My sis (Nix Vain) is friend with the General Manager of a club in Bradenton Florida called DaVinci's. So, he says "Come on down and work if you want to. It's really good money down here and we are the only club around here."
We Go- Mistake number 1. Always research clubs before you go, but hey, we knew the guy from Pasco county and he managed a really nice club there. We took his word.
We plug the address in the GPS from an add in a local magazine and off we go. 2 hours later we're driving along and we cross a bridge, and then another bridge, and then.... whoa we are almost to the beach. We are thinking 'cool it's in a prime location so it should be pretty good'.
Nope. Mistake number 2. We were lost. The add said Bradenton, the club was in South Bradenton.
We recalibrate and off we go. After 10 miles of backtracking we're at the club. The outside looks a lot like it used to be a fast food restaurant. Humm... we go in. The club is so dark that you can't really see the girl on stage at all. Which, turns out was a good thing.
Eeeep. Mistake Number 3. If they have to keep the club so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face get the Hell out of there.
The DJ kind of blows us off and the day shift manager leaves us sitting for 20 minutes before they finally get around to talking to us. We take it in stride, fill out paperwork, and change to work. We sit down in the chairs and... "What's that smell?"
The club. Mistake Number 4. If the clubs smells like ass and the carpet is sticky run away with all you've got.
So, we stayed because we'd spent 35 dollars in gas to get there and wanted to try and recoup at least some of our losses. There aren't any customers to speak of but we are assured there will be a lot of them later in the night.
We decide to stick it out. Mistake Number 5. If there are NO customers in the club and they hadn't just opened there is probably a reason for it.
The DJ proceeds to play me some music to kill yourself by... Creed, slow R&B..... really not my style. I feel like people go to clubs to have a good time and not get twice as depressed as when they came in. That could just be me though. Hum..... Anyway, we stay for a while and some other girls start to come in.
HIDEOUS. Mistake Number 6. If the dancers are wrinkly, obese, smelly, and passing out from whatever drug they are on.... run for cover.
At this point we are both of a mind to get the Hell out of that place. I give Nix the eye, she's giving it to me. About this time one of the other 'dancers' (and I use this term lighting because I didn't see any real dancing going on in this place) comes over and decides to be sociable to us. She is missing HALF of her top teeth, all on one side and looks like your typical 2 year meth addiction on legs.
Only thing we did right all day: We ran to the dressing room, changed our clothes, and got out of there with tires screeching and smell of burnt rubber.
To soak in our self pity: We went to Subway and ate cookies before the long ass drive home now less 35 dollars on my part and 25 on hers.
Damn.
Today's lesson is about the strip club hunt. My sis (Nix Vain) is friend with the General Manager of a club in Bradenton Florida called DaVinci's. So, he says "Come on down and work if you want to. It's really good money down here and we are the only club around here."
We Go- Mistake number 1. Always research clubs before you go, but hey, we knew the guy from Pasco county and he managed a really nice club there. We took his word.
We plug the address in the GPS from an add in a local magazine and off we go. 2 hours later we're driving along and we cross a bridge, and then another bridge, and then.... whoa we are almost to the beach. We are thinking 'cool it's in a prime location so it should be pretty good'.
Nope. Mistake number 2. We were lost. The add said Bradenton, the club was in South Bradenton.
We recalibrate and off we go. After 10 miles of backtracking we're at the club. The outside looks a lot like it used to be a fast food restaurant. Humm... we go in. The club is so dark that you can't really see the girl on stage at all. Which, turns out was a good thing.
Eeeep. Mistake Number 3. If they have to keep the club so dark you can't see your hand in front of your face get the Hell out of there.
The DJ kind of blows us off and the day shift manager leaves us sitting for 20 minutes before they finally get around to talking to us. We take it in stride, fill out paperwork, and change to work. We sit down in the chairs and... "What's that smell?"
The club. Mistake Number 4. If the clubs smells like ass and the carpet is sticky run away with all you've got.
So, we stayed because we'd spent 35 dollars in gas to get there and wanted to try and recoup at least some of our losses. There aren't any customers to speak of but we are assured there will be a lot of them later in the night.
We decide to stick it out. Mistake Number 5. If there are NO customers in the club and they hadn't just opened there is probably a reason for it.
The DJ proceeds to play me some music to kill yourself by... Creed, slow R&B..... really not my style. I feel like people go to clubs to have a good time and not get twice as depressed as when they came in. That could just be me though. Hum..... Anyway, we stay for a while and some other girls start to come in.
HIDEOUS. Mistake Number 6. If the dancers are wrinkly, obese, smelly, and passing out from whatever drug they are on.... run for cover.
At this point we are both of a mind to get the Hell out of that place. I give Nix the eye, she's giving it to me. About this time one of the other 'dancers' (and I use this term lighting because I didn't see any real dancing going on in this place) comes over and decides to be sociable to us. She is missing HALF of her top teeth, all on one side and looks like your typical 2 year meth addiction on legs.
Only thing we did right all day: We ran to the dressing room, changed our clothes, and got out of there with tires screeching and smell of burnt rubber.
To soak in our self pity: We went to Subway and ate cookies before the long ass drive home now less 35 dollars on my part and 25 on hers.
Damn.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
sunspun:
I am living in a place where I don't speak the language, and every time someone suggests stripping as a potential way to pay the bills, I picture something exactly like this happening. Except at some point or another in the night I fall on my face and everyone laughs. 
kryptik:
hilarious to read, although i'm sure it was not hilarious for you at the time. always enjoy reading about your adventures