Today is Day #4 on the Premarin 2.5mg daily.
Yesterday was most definitely not what I'd call a productive day. Apart from attending the weekly transgender support group at New Leaf, and doing my grocery shopping at Rainbow (saved 20% off my entire total by finding and using the phone book coupon), I accomplished nothing. I returned from grocery shopping at 7:00 pm feeling very hungry, ate too much for dinner, and went to bed shortly after eight, without having done any work on my music. I felt depressed and anxious the whole day.
I got out of bed about thirteen hours later at around ten am, and I am feeling apprehensive about what I will or will not do today. I have a volunteer orientation at the LGBT center at 5:00 pm, and I am determined to attend that. I have an informational meeting on jobs to repeal Prop 8 at 3:30 and I will probably not go to that (the jobs involve mainly canvassing for signatures on the street, something I know I would hate doing and that I would suck at). And tonight there is a music film marathon somewhere downtown some friend is screening. I want to go to the first film at 8:00 which is a documentary on Bowie's 1974 Diamond Dogs tour (I was there at the Boston show, it was the one time I saw Bowie live and it was great).
I really need to work on mapping out the live instrumental performance for my concert which is one week from today. I need to get started on that. I cannot keep procrastinating.
I used to have a drive and a passion for working on music, whether it was performing or recording. I used to get excited and look forward to opportunities to perform for an audience. Now I am just dreading the whole experience, the preparation involved, the event and the outcome.
What the fuck is wrong with me anymore?...
Yesterday was most definitely not what I'd call a productive day. Apart from attending the weekly transgender support group at New Leaf, and doing my grocery shopping at Rainbow (saved 20% off my entire total by finding and using the phone book coupon), I accomplished nothing. I returned from grocery shopping at 7:00 pm feeling very hungry, ate too much for dinner, and went to bed shortly after eight, without having done any work on my music. I felt depressed and anxious the whole day.
I got out of bed about thirteen hours later at around ten am, and I am feeling apprehensive about what I will or will not do today. I have a volunteer orientation at the LGBT center at 5:00 pm, and I am determined to attend that. I have an informational meeting on jobs to repeal Prop 8 at 3:30 and I will probably not go to that (the jobs involve mainly canvassing for signatures on the street, something I know I would hate doing and that I would suck at). And tonight there is a music film marathon somewhere downtown some friend is screening. I want to go to the first film at 8:00 which is a documentary on Bowie's 1974 Diamond Dogs tour (I was there at the Boston show, it was the one time I saw Bowie live and it was great).
I really need to work on mapping out the live instrumental performance for my concert which is one week from today. I need to get started on that. I cannot keep procrastinating.
I used to have a drive and a passion for working on music, whether it was performing or recording. I used to get excited and look forward to opportunities to perform for an audience. Now I am just dreading the whole experience, the preparation involved, the event and the outcome.
What the fuck is wrong with me anymore?...