I don't have any new poetry, and I don't have much going on in my life. I'm very bored and stuck in a rut! I need some excitment, but what? I'm such a creature of habit, that it's disgusting!
Some bad news though, my mom is coming in to town tomorrow!
She wants try to be my friend now! What the fuck ever! She'll be here for a week, then off to France. I just don't understand why now, all of a sudden, does she want to pretend that our "history" never happened.
Sorry to vent about my mom, it's just that she really gets to me, and I HATE that! All she's gonna do while she's here is, in that condesending way, basically tell me what a fuck up I am. Then she'll critsize me with no end, and I mean about everything! First my weight, how dark my hair and make-up is, my clothes, my house, then some more on my weight. Eventually she'll go in to the small stuff, why I bite my nails, why I'm a picky eater as she says, why I drink, why I talk to my dad, well you get the idea EVERYTHING! And the funny thing is that she'll do this while we are constantly shopping. She always tries to buy me everything. My friends say it's because she feels guilty for the way she has always treated me.
I think another thing bothering me, is the fact that I can never be myself. For some reason, I always have to be the person that people want me to be at that time. I guess that has alot to do with the charade that's been called my life, haha. My dad being a minister, and my mom being a whore, but in public we were always the perfect little family. I must admit though, since I've been away from the family, I'm not as crazy!!!
Hopefully I'll be back to the computer soon! Later
Some bad news though, my mom is coming in to town tomorrow!
She wants try to be my friend now! What the fuck ever! She'll be here for a week, then off to France. I just don't understand why now, all of a sudden, does she want to pretend that our "history" never happened.
Sorry to vent about my mom, it's just that she really gets to me, and I HATE that! All she's gonna do while she's here is, in that condesending way, basically tell me what a fuck up I am. Then she'll critsize me with no end, and I mean about everything! First my weight, how dark my hair and make-up is, my clothes, my house, then some more on my weight. Eventually she'll go in to the small stuff, why I bite my nails, why I'm a picky eater as she says, why I drink, why I talk to my dad, well you get the idea EVERYTHING! And the funny thing is that she'll do this while we are constantly shopping. She always tries to buy me everything. My friends say it's because she feels guilty for the way she has always treated me.
I think another thing bothering me, is the fact that I can never be myself. For some reason, I always have to be the person that people want me to be at that time. I guess that has alot to do with the charade that's been called my life, haha. My dad being a minister, and my mom being a whore, but in public we were always the perfect little family. I must admit though, since I've been away from the family, I'm not as crazy!!!
Hopefully I'll be back to the computer soon! Later
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*que the violin music please*
Maybe I should have moved farther away, now that I think about it...Hmmmm.