lilgirliebitch

How do I communicate how it feels to be under water? Everything is surreal and I have watched me live my life for the last few days. It isn't really me people talk to, it isn't me who drives my car, or laughs at my brother doing the butt dance. I don't remember conversations I have had and feel constantly confused although I don't know about what. The lesson here, NEVER forget your antidepressents when you go somewhere...baaaaaaaaaad idea.
Well hopefully the surrealism will leave me soon now that I have my meds again, because it is really fucking with my life. One of the worst symptoms seems to be mania and itching. I was manically itching yesterday to the point where there were scratches on my stomach and back. I don't even remember it. My brother was smart enough to tell me he found some benadryl. It wasn't really benadryl, it was two very strong sleeping pills/tranquilizers. Sad that my brother had to drug me. Like WTF is going on?
Anyways, I had GREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAT time at the NC BBQ. I met so many wonderful people that I can't wait to see again. The pulling, the McFlurries, the singing with no pants, the Never-Have-I-Ever, just EVERYTHING. So wonderful and thank you to everyone who made it an awesome time!
This past weekend was pretty awesome (minus the whole meds thing). Went to Lauren's birthday. It was supposed to be child's dress up. So I dressed up in my mom's clothes (well not the shoes, those were from Taboo lingerie). I looked so freakin trampy. The (open) red satin shirt, stripper shoes, choker pearls, black bra, and enough makeup to be a true geisha made for quite an outfit. Good times.
Anyways, I feel sooo out of it. I can't wait for my psyc to call me back since I am still sort of freaked out. Sorry if this entry made no sense, my head is out of order right now.