Cross posted from the Depression Group.
So my ex-fiance flew out to NM to visit her crush today (who coincidentally has a crush on her too). He and I were friends until I found out they have a thing for one another. I haven't talked to him since I found out because I don't think friends are supposed to do shit like that. I'm still trying to deal with the break up (even if I'm doing a piss-poor job of it), and I still want her back, and he knows all that.
She hasn't told me why she dumped me, and when I asked she completely ignored the question. Granted, it was a long distance relationship (Pennsylvania/DC) but we were together for 4 1/2 years, 1 1/2 of which, we were engaged.
When we first started dating, but had already fallen in love with one another (she was living in California at the time), she cheated on me 3 times with her friend. I forgave her because I loved her, and even though I considered ending it there, I wanted to continue the relationship for the same reason. I don't regret staying in the relationship at all, because they were the best 4 1/2 years of my life, and she brought me so much joy. Of course we had arguments and disagreements, but that's what happens in relationships, it's one of the things that helps them grow. They were few and far between, and it was never anything major.
When I met her, I felt whole, which I hadn't felt in such a long time. Now that she's gone, I feel empty. I miss her terribly, and would do pretty much anything to get her back.
Anyway, on to my questions.
Is it normal for someone in this situation to hope the trip goes badly for her (not as in getting injured, just as in not enjoying the trip at all), or that she annoys the shit out of him and he realizes he can't deal? Or is that just not right to do? Because honestly, I don't want her to enjoy the trip. Does that make me a bad person?
Thank you ahead of time for whatever responses I get, even if they're calling me an asshole or whatever. At least if there are responses, it shows someone at least read the post.
So my ex-fiance flew out to NM to visit her crush today (who coincidentally has a crush on her too). He and I were friends until I found out they have a thing for one another. I haven't talked to him since I found out because I don't think friends are supposed to do shit like that. I'm still trying to deal with the break up (even if I'm doing a piss-poor job of it), and I still want her back, and he knows all that.
She hasn't told me why she dumped me, and when I asked she completely ignored the question. Granted, it was a long distance relationship (Pennsylvania/DC) but we were together for 4 1/2 years, 1 1/2 of which, we were engaged.
When we first started dating, but had already fallen in love with one another (she was living in California at the time), she cheated on me 3 times with her friend. I forgave her because I loved her, and even though I considered ending it there, I wanted to continue the relationship for the same reason. I don't regret staying in the relationship at all, because they were the best 4 1/2 years of my life, and she brought me so much joy. Of course we had arguments and disagreements, but that's what happens in relationships, it's one of the things that helps them grow. They were few and far between, and it was never anything major.
When I met her, I felt whole, which I hadn't felt in such a long time. Now that she's gone, I feel empty. I miss her terribly, and would do pretty much anything to get her back.
Anyway, on to my questions.
Is it normal for someone in this situation to hope the trip goes badly for her (not as in getting injured, just as in not enjoying the trip at all), or that she annoys the shit out of him and he realizes he can't deal? Or is that just not right to do? Because honestly, I don't want her to enjoy the trip. Does that make me a bad person?
Thank you ahead of time for whatever responses I get, even if they're calling me an asshole or whatever. At least if there are responses, it shows someone at least read the post.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
mayhem:
thanks for your support. I hope your situation has found resolve!!
lethaldose:
I'm doing my best to hang in there. That is all we can do, right?